I’ve never met anyone who knew more about marriage than Gary Smalley. That’s why I put a lot of credence in this quote. Smalley observed that most marriages are 80 percent good and 20 percent bad. What makes the difference is which part they decide to focus on most.
When we meet our future spouse, we only notice the good. Then, with enough time, mistakes, lies, and betrayal, we notice only the bad. And that is understandable. But it is also fruitless.
Solomon knew a bit about marriage, as well. He said, “He who searches for good finds favor” (Proverbs 11:27).
So try this today. Make a list of three or four things that are really good about your spouse, and only focus on that for the rest of the day.
Recovery Step: Go ahead! Make the list!