Recovery Minute

Married couples often keep financial secrets from their spouse. According to a study in 2022, financial secrets adversely affect 75 percent of all marriages. A poll by CreditCards.com found the following: Secrets are never a good thing within a marriage. And eventually, the secrets always come out. “For nothing will be hidden that will not…

“It’s just a flesh wound.”      – Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) Those were the words from the Black Knight (John Cleese) to King Arthur (Graham Chapman), after losing both arms in the heat of combat.  The Black Knight did what we all tend to do. He minimized his condition. What Solomon said still…

In the final round of the 1934 U.S. Open, Bobby Cruickshank appeared to be on his way to winning his first major tournament on the PGA tour. He had the lead on the 11th hole when a wayward shot miraculously bounced off a rock and onto the green. Overjoyed, Cruickshank threw his club into the…

We all know that God expects us to be holy. That means to be set apart, living lives of integrity and character. But did you know God actually expects more than holy lives? Paul told the church, “He chose us to be holy and blameless” (Ephesians 1:4). Paul’s message was that we are to not…

Pain. It’s a part of life. It’s what C.S. Lewis called “God’s unwanted gift.” We’ve all been there. Everyone I know has experienced their fair share of pain. The key is how we respond to our pain. Dr. Robert Puff, host of the Happiness Podcast, suggests three steps to processing our pain. It is important…

My good friend, Dr. Roger Patterson, pastor of Houston’s West University Baptist Church, recently preached an amazing sermon on marriage. Roger addressed the subject of selfishness. He said selfishness manifests itself in marriage in four ways: Few things are more damaging to a marriage than selfishness. And that’s a problem for addicts because selfishness drives…

A writer named David Redding wrote about growing up on a farm in Scotland. As a young boy, he was given a beautiful black puppy he named Teddy. Redding and Teddy were inseparable. When Redding had to go off to war, he was unable to return to his farm for more than two years. But…

Juneteenth is a celebration that began on June 19, 1865. Union general Gordon Granger rode into Galveston, Texas, to announce the end of slavery. His message was met with shock and celebration. What the people didn’t realize was that slavery had been legally banned two and a half years earlier, on January 1, 1863. The…

All successful recovery includes two words – hard work. Sorry, I wish it wasn’t so. I wish there was a softer, easier way, but there’s not. To stay sober, you need to master things like surrender, going to meetings, and working the Steps. But you also need this: Hard work. Derek Jeter said, “There may…

An analogy that is often used to describe the process of rebuilding trust is that of the empty bucket. We say to the addict, “The reason your wife doesn’t trust you is that your bucket is empty. You need to refill your bucket.” We refill the bucket by going to meetings, doing therapy, and remaining…

It would be impossible to summarize the entire Bible – 1,189 chapters – with one word. Among the 66 books of the Bible there are 31,102 verses, consisting of 783,137 words. Which of those words is most important? Hard to name just one. But If I could say just one, it might be . .…

Godzilla’s career as a prizefighter began with his first movie, appropriately called Godzilla, in 1954. He went on to star in 38 movies, taking on all monsters who wanted a piece of him. His career included 55 fights, with 45 wins, four draws, and six losses. One of the losses came to a robot, so…

It is important that we be aware of our weak spots. The Bible says, “Through the law we became conscious of our sin” (Romans 3:20). Substitute the word addiction for sin. Here are four reasons you need to be conscious of your addiction: John Calvin said, “There is no light in the law without Christ.”…

Alexander the Great was one of the greatest conquerors the world has ever known. After he had achieved his conquest of Persia, he embarked on an eastward journey that led him beyond the familiar territories. As author Halford Luccock put it, the general “marched off his maps.” I suppose that when your name ends with…

At the age of four, Itzhak Perlman was struck by polio, rendering his legs useless. However, he compensated for this loss by dedicating himself to his violin. In the following years, Perlman enchanted countless audiences with his music. While he lost the use of his legs, his music bestowed upon him a unique form of…

Sometimes, you need to listen to the advice of others, figure out what makes sense, and then do something else. Good advice is not always the best advice. Sometimes, God leads us to do things that others don’t understand. That’s why we need the Holy Spirit. Jesus promised, “The Holy Spirit will teach you all…

Kevin went down on one knee as he handed a beautiful, small box to his girlfriend, Rachel. Then he popped the question: “Will you marry me?” Rachel responded, “Of course I’ll marry you!” Then she opened the box, to find a diamond engagement ring, for which Kevin had spend $20,000. Then, holding up the box…

Forgiveness and second chances are hallmarks of the Christian faith. A well-known secular humanist gave an amazing endorsement of our faith. “What I envy most about you Christians is your forgiveness. I have nobody to forgive me.” We all say we believe in God’s forgiveness, but that doesn’t always translate into our daily lives. Let…

Have you ever flown stand-by? When you watch the passengers hanging around the desk in front of the terminal, you can always tell the ones who are flying stand-by. Everyone else has a secure ticket. They are sitting comfortably in a chair, reading magazines and working on their laptops, just waiting for their number to…

Eugene Land was a self-made millionaire who was asked to speak to a class of 59 sixth graders at a school in Harlem. Based on historical trends, ten percent of those students would never graduate from high school. That would be six students. Land’s message to the students was simple. “If you stay in school…

When I was about seven years old, I woke up one Christmas morning to find the bicycle of my dreams under the Christmas tree. I was shocked, because I was under the impression that such gifts were reserved for boys and girls who had been especially good that year, which I had not been.  I…

Martin Luther said, “When you wash your face, remember your baptism.” Translation: Never forget from whence you came. Remember your past and learn from it. We should take time to reflect on what got us into recovery and cherish the lessons we have learned along the journey. This will keep us on track and focused.…

My wife works with spouses who are married to sex addicts, leading them through their own recovery programs. Regarding their relationships with their addict husbands, Beth often tells them, “Believe their behaviors, not their words.” Jesus said it like this: “A tree is recognized by its fruit” (Matthew 12:33). When a person works a serious…

In 1956, Billy Graham held a crusade in London that resulted in thousands of people coming to Christ. The London Times, seeking to discredit the tremendous response and success of the revival, published this headline: “Billy Graham Has Sent England Back to the 1800s.”  When asked what he thought of the headline, Graham responded, “Well,…

No one disputes God’s directive to do the right thing. The prophet was clear when he said, “Maintain justice and do what is right” (Isaiah 56:1). That leads to an obvious question. Why should we do the right thing? Psychologist Jordan Scotti has an answer: “There is psychological research that suggests that engaging in prosocial…

Have you ever felt as if your shame, your sins, and your shortcomings have taken you beyond the grasp of God’s grace? I’ve been there. We all have.  So let the words of Jesus sink in. Other than blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, Jesus said, “Every kind of sin can be forgiven” (Matthew 12:31). That…

Purity matters – a lot. The psalmists spoke to this when he answered his own question. “How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word” (Psalm 119:9). Any ministry that is committed to leading men and women to freedom from unwanted sexual behaviors will have a lot…

I have a theory. When you put recovery ahead of God, you find neither. But when you put God ahead of recovery, you find both. That is because all recovery is spiritual recovery.  Henry Ward Beecher said it well: “Heaven will be inherited by every man who has heaven in his soul.” Paul said it…

Jesus quoted from Lincoln’s 1858 speech when he said, “A house divided cannot stand” (Matthew 12:25). Nothing matters more than unity. That is why Jesus prayed, in what really was the Lord’s Prayer (a prayer he prayed himself, not a model prayer for us), “Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name, the…

Your biggest sex organ is your brain. That is why nothing is more important to your recovery than what you do with your thought life. The Bible says, “Serve him with a willing mind” (1 Chronicles 28:9). Here are six ways to serve God with a willing mind: Vincent Van Gogh said, “I put my…

I know what it is to feel “less than.” When you wear Coke bottles for glasses at the age of eight, and when you stutter your way through school, you can’t help but feel unimpressive. That’s why I love the words of Alice Chapin: “Green apples are apples too.” The God who is not limited…

I have the same routine every morning. I step outside on my lanai, and a zillion ducks come rushing up from the pond out back, like a battalion of soldiers storming the beach at Normandy. They know what’s coming, because I’ve been doing the same thing, very consistently, for five years. I reach into my…

There is not enough space to write all the supremely wonderful things Jesus did during the three years of his public ministry. But if we could identify the top ten statements of what Jesus did, this one would rise to the top: “He loved them to the end” (John 13:1). Jesus loved his disciples through…

The Holy Spirit exhausted the alphabet in describing Jesus. He was the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. He is the Christ and the Creator, the Daystar of David’s seed. He’s the Everlasting God, Friend of friends, and God of grace. He’s the Helper to the helpless and the Incarnate One, the Just…

Do you remember Popeye the Sailor Man? He was a popular comic book hero who later had his own TV show. I watched it every Saturday morning as a kid. Popeye had tremendous forearms, and always had a pipe in his mouth. He faced his archrival, Bluto, at every turn. Bluto had every advantage over…

Kobe Bryant was one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Speaking at the ESPYS, he revealed the secret to his success: “Rest at the end, not in the middle.” In recovery, too many of us rest in the middle. We take a break from groups and other recovery work when we aren’t done…

Before A.G. Spalding was a sporting goods magnate, he was a great baseball player. He was arguably the first great pitcher, winning a remarkable 252 games over a seven-year career, including 52 wins in one season. But it was one move that by which Spalding made his lasting mark. A.G. Spalding was the first baseball…

A few years ago, Tamekia Reece wrote an article for Prevention. Reece identified ten habits of people who lived to be 100. At the top of the list was one thing. Mix and mingle. She wrote, “People live longer and happier lives if they make new friends and keep old ones.”  Another study conducted in…

Do you ever ask yourself, “Where did the time go?” We have answers. Over the course of our lives, on average, we spend twenty-six years sleeping and another seven years trying to sleep. We spend thirteen years at work, eight years watching TV, four years eating, three years on social media, three years on vacation,…

You’ll never be a winner until you risk being a loser. Stephen McCranie said, “The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.”  I love the way gymnast gold medalist Simone Biles said it: “I’d rather regret the risks that didn’t work out than the chances I didn’t take at all.” Taking…

Lance Armstrong was the unquestioned king of cycling, with an unequaled seven Tour de France titles. But it all came unraveled on this date in history. On October 22, 2012, Armstrong was stripped of his titles and banned from the sport he loved. The lifetime ban followed a report from the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency, that…

There was a fourth-grade student named Tommy, whose mother gave him a box of cupcakes to take to his classmates at school. Unfortunately, Tommy had injured his leg and was on crutches. His mother asked Tommy’s older brother, a sixth grader, to carry the cupcakes for Tommy. The brother said, “I’d rather not.” His mother…

America’s independence from Great Britain was essentially secured 242 years ago today. On October 19, 1781, Britain’s Lord Cornwallis surrendered to American General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. The Revolutionary War would soon come to an end. Did you notice that date – 1781? That is five years after the birth of the United States…

Left-handed people have it tough. Making up just ten percent of the population, they live in a hostile world. We raise our right hands in court, drive on the right side of the road, and read from left to right. Everyone wants to be right; no one wants to be left. Lefties are more prone…

“If God would do _____, I would do ______.”  I hear that a lot. We barter with God. “If he would bring me blessings, I would trust him more.” “If he would reduce my urges to act out, I’d stay sober.” That’s all backwards. The fact is, if you will stay sober, you will find…

After Michelangelo died, a piece of paper was found in his studio, on which the old master had scribbled a note to his apprentice. “Draw, Antonio. Draw, Antonio. Draw, and do not waste time.” The great apostle seems to agree with that sentiment. Paul wrote, “Do not waste your time on useless work” (Ephesians 5:11). …

I’m going to say something I don’t think I ever said as a pastor. Quit serving God and start seeking God! If we were honest, most of us would define ourselves as human doings, rather than human beings. The first thing we ask a new friend is, “What do you do?” We measure our worth…

It is your ultimate opponent – apathy.  You are probably familiar with Edmund Burke’s famous line: “The only thing necessary for evil to triumph in the world is that good men do nothing.” I like the way that John Stott said it: “Apathy is the acceptance of the unacceptable.”  Nothing turns the stomach of God…

The Wizard of Oz remains one of the most popular movies of all time. In the film, we find Dorothy skipping down the yellow brick road to see the great and powerful Oz and ask him to help her get home to Kansas. Ultimately, we discover the Wizard of Oz is a phony, when Dorothy’s…

I love history and I love great success stories. And this is what I know – every great success story in history happened for one reason.  Someone refused to give up. Hard work and daily practice reap benefits that cannot be found any other way. Malcolm Gladwell estimated that mastery in any field requires a…

There was an old country church that had a picture of Jesus hanging on the wall behind the pulpit. Worshipers could see the picture above the pastor’s head when he preached on Sundays. But one week, the pastor was out of town, and the man who filled in was quite a bit taller than he…

Archimedes was a mathematician and physicist in the 3rd century, B.C. He famously said, “Give me a place on which to stand and a lever long enough and I will move the world.” From the example of Archimedes we find two qualities that are indispensable for success in any endeavor: Our concern here is recovery…

“As a result of this many of his disciples withdrew, and were not walking with him anymore” (John 6:66). That is one of the saddest verses in the Bible. Men who qualified as “disciples” of our Lord walked away from their commitments and faith. Unfortunately, I see it all the time. I have been in…

In 1900, a survey was conducted. Americans were asked to list their basic needs. The average response consisted of 72 things. In 1950, this survey was repeated. This time, on average, Americans said they needed over 500 things. I can’t imagine how many things would be added to that list today. Here are ten, to…

God heals. As much as he healed in biblical times, God heals. The lame, the blind, and the addicted. God heals them all. The question is not whether God heals, but how God heals. Sometimes, God heals immediately. “Jesus said, ‘Stretch out your hand.’ So he stretched it out and it was completely restored” (Matthew…

Recovery can be an emotional journey at times. I cried when I was discovered. I cried when I attended my first SAA meeting. I cried in front of my therapist. I cried throughout my disclosure. I cried when I got my 30-day chip. I cried when I got my one-year chip. I cry – a…

If church attendance only counted those who really want to be there, I suspect attendance wouldn’t be too good on most Sundays. When I was a pastor, I remember one guy who literally told me, “Preacher, just so ya know, I don’t wanna be here!” Contrast that with the plea of the psalmist, who asked,…

Life was never intended to be lived alone. Every great task calls for teamwork, community, and collaboration. We are simply wired for connection. Consider these two examples from history. In 1933, British explorer Frank Smythe attempted to climb Mt. Everest alone. He became so convinced that someone else was with him on the climb that…

Homan Walsh contributed to the construction of the first suspension bridge over the Niagara River, when he was just a young boy. From the Canadian side, he flew his kite across to the American side where the kite string was fastened to a tree on the shore. Then they took a little cord and they…

Do you talk to yourself? There’s nothing wrong with that, but I’d be alarmed if you start hearing responses. I heard about a study that found that 96 percent of us talk to ourselves. Talking to yourself is actually biblical. In the 42nd Psalm, the Sons of Korah talked to themselves. They asked themselves the…

One of the most difficult lessons for me to learn in recovery was that nothing I had ever done caught God off guard. Nor did my addictive behaviors stunt God’s ability to bless me and use me going forward. I had to learn that nothing can really disqualify a person who was never qualified in…

“We didn’t tackle well today, but we made up for it by not blocking.”      – John McKay        Former Head Coach, Tampa Bay Buccaneers Success starts by doing one thing well. Another former coach gives us good insight into this principle. Texas A&M basketball coach Shelby Metcalf had to suspend a player from his team due…

J.C. Penny was asked the key to his success. His answer was succinct. “Adversity and Jesus Christ.” Adversity is a part of life. You don’t get to decide whether or not you will have tough times. But you do get to decide how you will respond in those times.  We have this amazing promise: “We…

In 1847, Oliver Chase invented a machine to make throat lozenges, which led to the beginning of America’s candy industry. With his machine and a tweak to the formula, Chase was able to shape small candy wafers into hearts and imprint them with words. Those little “candy love letters” have been a sweet tradition of…

There are a lot of reasons people fail to reach their goals. In recovery, this is especially true. Many factors play into relapse. But there is one mistake, one shortcoming, that leads to failure more than anything else.  According to business expert and prolific author Harvey Mackay, the #1 reason people fail is that they…

Dream big dreams. Shoot for the stars. Aim high, don’t settle, and never look back. Famous architect Daniel Burnham was right: “Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men’s blood and probably themselves will not be realized. Make big plans, aim high in hope and work. Remember that our sons and grandsons…

Loneliness is one of the five basic triggers for addiction. It is a threat to our sanity, sobriety, and serenity. One study found that loneliness is as bad for our health as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Don’t apologize for periods of loneliness. We’ve all been there. King David, the “man after God’s own heart,”…

God has given us all the same thing every year – 12 months; 365 days; 8,760 hours; 525,600 minutes; 31,536,000 seconds. It’s what we do with that time that counts. J.R.R. Tolkien said, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” Laura Meyer, clinical therapist, writes, “I…

There was a period in the history of Israel when God raised up a series of judges who provided leadership and guidance for his children. One of those judges was named Gideon.  You may recall that early in the story of Gideon, he was found hiding from the Midianites to avoid having his crops seized…

“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Nobody knows my sorrow. Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Glory, Hallelujah.”      – Louis Armstrong We have all known trouble. Some of our troubles are self-afflicted (like looking at porn). Others are the product of living in a fallen world. The Bible is clear. “The righteous person may have…

“I don’t have time to worry about who doesn’t like me. I’m too busy loving the people who love me.”      – Snoopy Don’t worry about the people who are no longer in your corner. When you come clean with your addiction, some of your family members and friends will sever all ties with you. I…

A dog recently made the Guinness Book of World Records for doing something no other dog has ever done. Bobi, a purebred Rafeiro do Alentejo, made history by having a birthday. Not just any birthday. Bobi is the world’s oldest dog, at age 31. If you want to bring Bobi a gift, you’ll have to…

King David, a man after God’s own heart, once lamented, “Lord, do not be silent. Do not be far from me” (Psalm 35:22). What do you do when God is silent? I suggest seven things. Sometimes, God goes silent. But that doesn’t mean he’s not still speaking. He speaks every day, through every sunrise and…

Temptation plus opportunity equals trouble. Let’s break that down. Recovery Step: Some level of temptations and opportunities are going to happen. Do your best to not let them happen at the same time because that spells trouble. 

Do you tend to be too hard on yourself? Meet the President of the “Too Hard on Myself” Club. Perhaps you’ve heard of him.  Leonardo da Vinci. Noted as perhaps the most accomplished artist in history, da Vinci is credited with the Mona Lisa and the Last Supper, two of the most revered paintings ever.…

Here’s a key to recovery you have never heard before . . . You need to create a better past. We’ve all heard it a million times: “Create a better future.” But how do you do that? I suggest that the best way to create a better future is by creating a better past. By…

Charles Wesley was addicted to writing hymns. He composed over 6,400 of them and felt that he had had a bad day any day in which he failed to write a new hymn.  The power of a new song was not lost on King David. He proclaimed, “He brought me up out of the pit…

Most people in recovery had a dramatic turn-around moment. We got into recovery because our past was uncovered. We nearly lost it all. We had no choice. And once in recovery, we look for those magical moments of inspiration. We bounce from podcast to book to seminar in search of the next brilliant idea. We…

NBA coach Kevin Eastman has been around dozens of great basketball players, up close. He was asked what made the difference between really good players and exceptional players. “Exceptional players,” said Coach Eastman, “do the things that are unrequired.” He explained that most players live for the praise of their teammates and coaches. They practice…

A little girl climbed into her daddy’s lap and asked him to build her a dollhouse. Much to her delight, he promised to do so. Then he left town for an extended business trip. When he returned, he entered his daughter’s room, to find all of her dolls and doll furniture packed in boxes. When…

There’s a lot of incorrect thinking about . . . apples. For example, we often hear, “It’s as American as apple pie.” The problem with that is that the apple pie was created in England. And apples are native to Asia.  We hear that Adam and Eve ate an apple in the Garden. Of course,…

The chance of drawing a royal flush is one in 649,740. That’s about the same odds as finding sexual sobriety on your own. And the odds of drawing any straight flush are one in 72,192. That’s about the same odds as keeping sexual sobriety on your own. And if you don’t know what a royal…

There is a close relationship between prayer and recovery. Dr. Rob Whitley, author and psychologist, writes, “New research indicates that regular prayer can have many mental health benefits.” A study completed by Harvard professor Tyler VanderWeele found that young adults who prayed daily tended to have fewer depressive symptoms, and higher levels of satisfaction and…

I think I’m becoming a cranky old guy. At least that’s what my neighbor’s kid said when I told him to get off my lawn. These are just a few of the things that drive me crazier than they probably should: A friend told me to loosen up. He said, “It’s not rocket surgery!” (That’s…

According to the Cleveland Clinic, sexual addiction begins, on average, at age 18. But the typical addict doesn’t reach out for help until age 37. So they live in their addiction for 19 years before they seek help.  And that’s a shame. There are two problems with waiting 19 years to get help. The Bible…

“I have a mustard seed, and I know how to use it!”      – God Mustard seeds aren’t that impressive. They are just 0.1 inches in diameter. But mustard trees can reach heights of 30 feet, with branches 20 feet long. You know the verse: “If you have the faith the size of a mustard seed,…

Let me shed some light on a fake understanding of history. Thomas Edison did not invent the light bulb. At least, not on his own. In a book by Ernest Freeberg, we learn that the original light bulb reflected the work of many inventors, rather than Edison’s genius alone. The research and development culminated with…

In 1897, the Shell Transport and Trading Company was launched. Shell began selling gas out of its first gas station, in California, in 1915. Eventually, Shell built eight gas stations that all looked like giant shells. Today, just one such station remains, in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.  From her humble beginnings, Shell now has its headquarters…

I know a lot of people who teach that if we just love God and have enough faith, we will never have to suffer. Try telling that to the apostle Paul.  This was his story. “Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given…

When I was about 15, Dad bought us a telescope. My brother and I looked at the moon and other celestial objects for hours. But then boredom set in, so we turned the telescope around and looked through it the other way. Instead of objects looking bigger and closer, they appeared smaller and further away.…

Did you see the movie, Titanic (1997)? You may remember that iconic scene when young Jack, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, stands at the bow of the ship, spreads out his arms, and shouts, “I’m the king of the world!” Most of us would never be so brash as to say that, but when we choose…

I don’t know if national leaders outside the United States provide much comedic material, but I am confident America’s leaders – past and present – stand at the forefront of such things. Here are just a few funny lines from some of our leaders. (Note – presidential humor is a bipartisan phenomenon.) The need for…

You’ve probably read the same surveys I’ve read. Famous people of all stripes are often asked, “If you could spend time with one person from history, who would it be?” The most common response is always the same: Jesus. By a wide margin, people say they wish they could spend time with Jesus, in the…

Not every recovery tool will yield the same results. I came across this little verse the other day. It speaks directly to this issue. “You do not know which will succeed – this or that – or whether both will do equally well” (Ecclesiastes 11:6). The solution is to try multiple strategies that will bring…

A few weeks ago, I asked each of the 96 men who attended that week’s Freedom Groups to name a daily routine that helped with their recovery. One man said what no one else was thinking. “I floss.” Really? What does flossing one’s teeth have to do with recovery? This man explained, referring to a…

“Elementary, my dear Watson.”      – The Return of Sherlock Holmes, 1929 Elementary is not a bad thing. Every success story has a small beginning. Every athlete, astronaut, doctor, engineer, and Recovery Minute writer had to start someplace. Every scholar graduated from elementary school well before he earned advanced degrees.  Recovery works the same way. Start…

In our addiction, we get everything backwards. Randy Alcorn writes, “God created us to love people and use things, but materialists love things and use people.”  Every addict I know has done the same thing. We use things – and people – to address every pleasure. If someone gets hurt in the process, well, that’s…

Guess who created the Rubik’s Cube?  Here’s a better question. How long did it take Erno Rubik to solve the cube after he created it?  Answer: one month. The current world record is 4.22 seconds. Here’s what happened. Erno Rubik invented the famous cube, but it took someone else to learn how to solve it…

Every season, for his first practice, legendary basketball coach John Wooden took the full hour to teach his players how to properly put on their shoes and socks. In a similar fashion, when Vince Lombardi welcomed his new rookies to camp, he always began the same way. Holding a football in his hand, he said,…

It’s the gift everyone needs, but few are willing to pay the price to get it. Empathy. The problem is that empathy doesn’t come naturally for most of us. We want what comes easily. And empathy is rarely on that list. We’ve read the verse a zillion times: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with…

I’ve heard many guys say something like this, in the face of their strongest sexual temptations. “I’m just going to do it one more time, so I can get it out of my system.” Here’s the problem with that thinking. By doing what you think will get it out of your system, you are really…

“But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray” (Luke 5:16). Withdraw. That was something Jesus did really well. He knew when to withdraw – from the city, the crowds, his disciples, even ministry. How good are you at that – withdrawing?  Dr. Monica Johnson, clinical psychologist, is an expert on stressors that threaten our…

Everyone wants to be a winner. I’ve never met a person who wanted to fail at anything, including recovery. Yet, so many fail.  Why is that? Coach Bear Bryant nailed it. He said, “It’s not the will to win that matters. Everyone has that. It’s the will to prepare to win that matters.” We all…

“If I only had one more hit.” Millions are in search for that elusive “hit” that will forever satisfy their sexual and relational longings. We are convinced that by getting more of what is never enough, we will finally be content. Through thousands of porn images, hundreds of “hook-ups” and countless nights of self-pleasure, the…

Isolation is both a trigger and a fear. Being alone is a threat to our recovery, as we thrive on connection, which is the opposite of addiction. Actor John Belushi’s final words were quite telling. Shortly before his death in 1982, he said, “Just don’t leave me alone.” No one wants to be left alone.…

“He turns midnight into dawn” (Amos 5:8). C.S. Lewis wrote, in The Problem of Pain, “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain. Pain is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”  Pain is a part of the big plan. What…

Bullfrogs don’t sleep. But don’t let that stop you. Rest is important. Otherwise, God wouldn’t have promised, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest” (Exodus 33:14). The Psychology Today staff writes, “The relationship between sleep and mental health – both positive and negative – is multifaceted and complex. But in…

We misread God’s work all the time. One of our most common mistakes is that we incorrectly draw a correlation between (a) an easy, happy life, and (b) God’s approval. If things are going great, it is proof that God is good to us. Not so fast. The Old Testament prophet said, “You only have…

We do it four times a year. We bake a chocolate cake – for each of the four birthdays in our family. And while the finished product is fantastic, the individual ingredients themselves don’t taste so good – raw eggs, flour, cake mix, vegetable oil. But put them together and stick it in the oven…

Bud Post was born in Erie, Pennsylvania, in 1940. His mother died when he was age eight and his father sent him to an orphanage soon after. He never had much of a job and served 28 days in jail for writing hot checks. His life’s savings was a whopping $2.46. And then he won…

Don’t gloss over your past. Your past can be a great teacher if you let it. Gordon MacDonald wrote, “If your yesterdays are in a state of good repair, they provide strength for today. If not repaired, they create havoc.” Most of us respond to our past in one of two ways, which are both…

I am grateful for this promise: “The Lord is passionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love” (Psalm 103:8). I can’t imagine where I’d be if not for that grace. But God’s grace doesn’t take away from our need to do the hard work of recovery. James R. Miller said, “It is a great…

In order to stay sober, you need to know when to surrender. The Old Testament writer said, “There is a time to search and a time to give up” (Ecclesiastes 3:6). For most of us, surrender doesn’t come easily. Why is this? Answer: we are all control freaks. That’s the nature of sin. We want…

You are probably familiar with Robert Frost’s famous poem, The Road Not Taken, in which he depicts a person facing a dilemma. He has two possible pathways from which to choose – one that is frequently traveled and one that is rarely taken. In the poem, the person chooses the road less traveled.  For the…

On April 20, Elon Musk’s SpaceX’s newest Starship rocket exploded just a few minutes after take-off. The next day, Musk lost $12.6 billion of his net worth when Tesla’s stock tanked.  His response? Keep moving forward. Musk called the SpaceX explosion a “successful failure.”  When others would drop their head and mope, Elon Musk learned…

Solomon offered interesting wisdom when he said, “What is crooked cannot be straightened” (Ecclesiastes 1:15). That doesn’t mean we are beyond hope. But some of our choices have consequences with which we must live for the rest of our lives. Chuck Swindoll said it well: “No one can deny the relentless pain brought on by…

“Although they knew God, they did not glorify him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their hearts, and their foolish hearts were darkened” (Romans 1:21). The darkened heart is like a basement at the bottom of the stairs. While my childhood home didn’t have a basement, our relatives’ home in Kansas did.…

One of the most common questions I get is, “How do I overcome fantasy?” Of course, there is no silver bullet. The problem is that our biggest sex organ is our brain. As long as we have a brain, fantasy can be a threat. While there are many tools we can use to overcome fantasy…

Raise your hand if you can think of any failures in your life. A guy named C.S. Lewis had this to say about failures: “Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success.” If you really believe in Romans 8:28, you must also believe that God uses our…

Life is full of risks. And it is not always clear, what risks are worth taking. For example, did you know that Warner Brothers was producing the movie, Home Alone, but they pulled the plug on it at the last minute? They decided the $14 million cost was simply too high. There was no way…

Stress is not your buddy. In fact, he is your enemy. While some stress can serve to motivate us to meet deadlines and complete projects, excessive stress is one of the major triggers for addiction. There are two kinds of stress. Acute stress is caused by a significant event or dilemma. Chronic stress is tied…

While preparing for his fight with George Foreman, Muhammad Ali said, “I’ve seen George Foreman shadow box, and the shadow won.” Often, the shadow wins.  There are 52 references in the Bible to shadows. Here’s one such reference, tucked away in one of the least-read books of the Old Testament: “Our days on earth are…

The most coveted record in the history of flight has just been broken. Dillon Ruble, Nathaniel Erickson, and Garrett Jensen, three engineers at Boeing, broke the record in December. What did they do? They designed a paper airplane that flew 290 feet with a single toss. Ruble was the one tasked with throwing the plane.…

On this date in 1776, America was born. While we have readers from over 20 different countries, I think we can all agree that the American experiment has turned out pretty well, for the most part. But while I will join millions of others in celebrating our independence today, I recognize that God is not…

Can you continue to lust after other people sexually and still be considered sober?  Yes and No. Technically, yes, if your definition of sobriety is that you do not act out physically. No, if you are defining sobriety in terms of your state of mind and your progress in recovery.  SA’s White Book defines sobriety…

Basketball player Weldon Drew quipped, “We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all of our games are played indoors.” Location is everything. Here’s the good news. When you walk with God, you will never be alone, and you will always be in a place where he can really bless you. God promised his…

As everybody knows, bees are currently at risk due to colony collapse disorder. Gary Schempp did something about it. He saved 30,000 bees from certain death by creating a better place for them to live, then transported them to their new home. At last check, the bees were still buzzing over their new digs. Now…

We all thrive under encouragement and die under criticism. Solomon said it like this: “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24). Unfortunately, we can’t always count on receiving a lot of encouragement from others. We need to create our own attitude of positivity. Leaders with the…

Charlie Brown debuted in newspapers across the United States in 1950. For the next 50 years, he brought wisdom to readers far and wide. One of his many nuggets rings true for all of us: “Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.” Have you had a slip or relapse lately? If you…

Jadav Payeng was tired of watching the local wildlife suffer for lack of shade, so he did something about it. Payeng planted a single bamboo tree. Then he planted a second tree. And then a third. Payeng would eventually plant enough trees to become a thickly wooded forest covering 1,360 acres.  Payeng’s job was not…

I have endured a few scares in my lifetime. When I was eight, I ran through a glass door, resulting in deep cuts all over my body. At 27, the doctor said I probably had a serious cancer in my back. (I didn’t.) At 55, I rode Tower of Terror at Disney World. At 62,…

Recovery is all about looking forward. You can’t move forward while looking back. God’s Word says, “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?” (Isaiah 43:18). I love that: “Remember not the former things.” That is…

“Do it again on the next verse, and people will think you meant it.”      – Chet Adkins What’s true in music is true in life. When a singer repeats the same line over and over, it becomes memorable. We get the point – he is sending a clear message. Repetition communicates sincerity and importance.  It’s…

Paul wasn’t talking about recovery, but he could have been when he said, “It does not depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy” (Romans 9:16).  Augustine said, “Trust the past to the mercy of God, the present to his love, and the future to his providence.” You have trusted your own instincts,…

Don’t regret the hard times. Everything God has allowed, he will use. He will never let your most painful moments go to waste. And those times will not last forever.  Jack Hyles offered good insight when he said, “Laughter means nothing unless there have been tears.” I’m guessing that along your journey of addiction or…

People have been looking for ways to blow money since the Lydian Lion coin was created 2,700 years ago. In slightly more modern times, tourists couldn’t resist the urge to ride the world’s first roller coaster, even if it cost them something. Actually, it wasn’t supposed to be a roller coaster. When tourists witnessed rail…

On this day in history, June 14, 1789, a preacher named Elijah Craig introduced bourbon to America. The high reverend was the first to distill whiskey from maize. He named his concoction “bourbon” because he lived in Bourbon Country, Kentucky. If you google “Elijah Craig sermons” you will come up dry. But if you google…

Passion is everything. It trumps intelligence, talent, and organization. You will never get far without passion.  Steve Jobs was right: “People with passion can change the world for the better.” Those who knew Jobs well will tell you that his passion was not about computers, but the impact that personal computers could have on the…

“Lose your dream, you lose your mind.”      – Rolling Stones, Ruby Tuesday We all need to dream big dreams. Here are a few of my dreams: What are your dreams? God is into dreams. He wants you to have great dreams, dreams that fit his plan for your life of recovery. My prayer for you…

Let me offer you the best advice you may get all day: Do something today that tomorrow will thank you for. Whatever you do today will have future consequences. You make your decisions, then your decisions make you. You can bank on that.  The prophet warned, “You have borne the penalty of your lewdness and…

Accountability – you can’t stay sober without it. But what makes good accountability good? Peter Bregman, executive coach, and best-selling author, wrote an enlightening article, “The Right Way to Hold People Accountable.” He suggests five keys to effective accountability: You need to be accountable to someone else. And as you grow in your recovery, you…

Frank Lloyd Wright wrote, “Early in my career, I had to choose between an honest arrogance and a hypocritical humility. I deliberately choose an honest arrogance, and I’ve never been sorry.” It’s okay to know you are good at something. But is it really necessary to tell everyone how good you are? With all due…

We are all familiar with Amber alerts, in America. These are alerts that go out over everyone’s smartphones, notifying us that someone has suddenly gone missing. But where did Amber alerts begin? The girl behind the Amber alerts was Amber Hagerman, a nine-year-old Girl Scout from Arlington, Texas. She was kidnapped while riding her bike…

Artist William Blake completed a well-known etching that featured a little man climbing a ladder toward the moon. The caption read, “I Want! I Want!” We are all like that little man. In our restlessness, we climb and climb, in search for the satisfaction we want. When we finally make it to the top of…

It has happened several times since we moved to Florida, just a few miles from the coast. A hurricane has threatened to relocate us to Georgia. Each time that happens, I get a truck, run down to a lumber yard, and buy a bunch of plywood. Once again, it’s time to board up. We cut…

Years ago, an anonymous painting of Niagara Falls ended up in a gallery. Because the artist hadn’t given the painting a title, the gallery personnel decided to entitle the painting “More to Follow.” That captures the essence of Niagara Falls. Billions of gallons of water have poured over the Falls over the years, but we…

Little Johnny had had enough. He was tired of the school bully taking his $5 lunch money every day, so he decided to do something about it. Johnny signed up for karate classes so he could learn to defend himself. But it wasn’t long before Johnny discovered that the cost of karate lessons was $10…

Shame is not your friend.  Guilt says, “You’ve done something bad.” Shame says, “You are bad.” If anyone could have lived in shame, it was the Apostle Paul, who had persecuted Christians prior to his own conversion. But Paul learned to run from shame.  In his great theological treatise, Paul asked, “Who will bring any…

I once knew a Christian who was always down in the dumps. I asked him, “Why don’t you have the joy of the Lord?” He replied, “I do! I’m very happy!” I said, “Tell your face!” That conversation never really happened. But it could have. I know a lot of people who are very serious,…

Imagine that you saw a man hanging around a dumpster. He looked hungry, so you gave him a $100 gift card to the supermarket just a few steps away. With that card he could purchase anything he wanted – steak, seafood, snacks, desserts, or produce. Your gift card would supply him with enough meals to…

It has been reported that John Wesley’s final words were, “The best of all is, God is with us.” That is a powerful promise. In your addiction, God is with you. In your pain, God is with you. In your betrayal, God is with you. You can’t chase him away. You can’t outrun God. Even…

“Amaziah was 25 years old when he became king, and he reigned for 29 years in Jerusalem. He did right in the sight of the Lord, yet not with a whole heart” (2 Chronicles 25:1-2). Amaziah became king at an age when most of us are still trying to graduate from college. To his credit,…

“The next day, as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry” (Mark 11:12). In my mind, I easily see a conquering Jesus. I see a healing Jesus, a preaching Jesus, and a miracle-working Jesus.  But a hungry Jesus? The day before Jesus was hungry, Jesus was busy. He rode into Jerusalem triumphantly. He visited the…

Can you ever quit doing recovery work? What if you have ten years of sobriety? Or twenty?  I love the way Dr. Milton Magness says it: “You might outgrow addiction, but you’ll never outgrow recovery.” Let me use an analogy. Imagine that you are climbing a 14,000-foot mountain. The more you climb and the higher…

God promised King Hezekiah, “I will add 15 more years to your life” (2 Kings 20:6). If you had a guarantee of 15 more years, what would you do with that promise? Let me suggest a few things. I give you 15 ideas for 15 years. Make your own list. Be proactive with your life…

It happened on April 14, 1912, at 11:40 p.m. The unsinkable did the unthinkable. The RMS Titanic sank 2.5 miles to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. Of the 2,208 people aboard, about 1,500 died in the icy waters. But 712 survived. The most famous of the survivors was Molly Brown, who lived another 20…

On March 2, 1775, Patrick Henry spoke at St. John’s Church in Richmond, Virginia. He offered this famous line: “I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death.” We should all cherish liberty as much as Patrick Henry did. Slaves to our addictions, we have…

I recently came across a little verse in one of the least quoted books of the Bible. John, one of the early followers of Christ, was checking up on the development of new believers. Word came back to John. Notice his response to that report: “It has given me great joy to find some of…

Mr. Potato Head was invented by George Lerner in 1949, and distributed widely by Hasbro. The new children’s toy was an overnight success. And anything that is a success is worth talking about. Within three years, the world had met Mr. Potato Head. In 1952, it became the first toy advertised on national television. Anything…

What is recovery? The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) defines recovery as “a process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.” The American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) offers a slightly different definition. They write, “Recovery is an…

There are several ways to burn calories. Swim one hour and you’ll burn 250 calories. By riding a bike for an hour, you can burn another 600. Walking an hour will burn 300 more.  If that’s not enough, try beating your head against a wall. Seriously. If you strike your head against a wall for…

Looking for a good laugh? Consider these nuggets of wisdom from the great Mark Twain. Better yet, let’s consider some even deeper truths from King Solomon. I love to read. Some of my favorite topics are history, theology, philosophy, politics, biographies, and sports. I enjoy the classics – the works of Tolstoy, Dickens, Twain, and…

Preparation is everything. Think of anything you’d like to accomplish: running a marathon, saving some money, losing 15 pounds, securing long-term sobriety. In each case, preparation is everything. Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four hours sharpening the axe.” If…

Worry. It’s something we are all really good at. We all know how to worry and we all worry more than we should. The great Charlie Brown said it like this: “Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” As an addict,…

Bestselling author Harvey Mackay has identified seven reasons that people fail in any endeavor. These hold true for recovery. I suggest you identify just one item from this list, which applies to your life and struggles. Correct this shortcoming, and you will see your recovery rise to an unprecedented level. Make the following passage of…

The biggest reason we get into trouble is that we don’t get into anything else first. In recovery, it is critical that we replace unhealthy passions with passions that are worthwhile. In his book, Facing the Shadows, Dr. Patrick Carnes writes, “Practice hobbies, sports, and activities you enjoy. Cultivate these parts of your life so…

Jabez was barely mentioned in the Bible. His story, along with his famous prayer, is found in 1 Chronicles 4:9-10. “Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, ‘I gave birth to him in pain.’ Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, ‘Oh, that you would bless me…

There’s only one person who doesn’t have any hidden struggles. That is the person you haven’t met. Once you get to know them, you will discover they are just like everyone else. They have personal struggles that are not always obvious to the rest of us. Someone said, “I walk around like everything’s fine, but…

Duke Ellington said, “There are two kinds of worries – those you can do something about and those you can’t. Don’t spend any time on the latter.” I find myself reciting The Serenity Prayer more and more these days. It reminds me to separate the things I can do something about from those things over…

Paul wrote to Timothy, “Train yourself to be godly. Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better” (1 Timothy 4:7-8). The word that is translated “training” referred specifically to the disciplined training done by gymnasts in Paul’s day. The commentators of The Recovery Bible add, “It is amazing what human beings can…

“You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you” (Psalm 9:10). Let that sink in.  In recovery, we must endure a lot of trials, temptations, and tests. We must deal with our past, pain, and persecution. We must move beyond our hurts, habits, and hang-ups. But there is one thing you never have to…

You want to be happy. We all do. But how do we find happiness? Let’s consider the research. Studies show that happiness is not simply an outcome of success, but is an ingredient to create success. Dr. Sonja Lyuboirsky explains that a worthwhile life comes from happiness, not the other way around.  Harvard psychologist Jal…

When I want deep philosophical thought, I turn to . . . Charlie Brown. One day, Lucy looked at Charlie Brown and saw that he was depressed. She said, “Charlie Brown, the problem with you is that you are you.” Charlie responded, “Oh, and what can I do about that?” Lucy replied, “I’m not here…

A hiker was walking down a country road one day when he heard a voice in the distance. “Help me! Someone help me now!” As the hiker followed the direction of the voice, he eventually came upon a horrifying scene. A man had fallen into a sea of quicksand, and was flailing helplessly as he…

The resurrection is the hinge on which the door of the Gospel swings. Yale professor and theologian Jaroslav Pelikan said, “If Christ is risen, nothing else matters. And if Christ is not risen, nothing else matters.” Paul affirmed this sentiment: “If Christ be not risen, your faith is in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:14). If you…

Christopher Heimerman is a writer for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. He checked all the boxes: But there was another side to Heimerman’s life. In his own words, “Hours after church, I was often funneling beer or whiskey in the quiet, dark corners of our house. Yet another domino tipped. Another week of drinking every day…

The Taj Mahal stands out from the plains of Agra in Northern India. It is a testimony to the love of Shah Jahan for his favorite wife. Built in the 17th century, it took 20,000 workers 16 years to build the world’s most elaborate edifice.  God expressed his love in a different way.  “This is…

A rabbit came upon a rattlesnake in the woods. The rattlesnake hissed, “I know what you are! You have big ears, a fluffy tail, and a wiggly nose. You’re a rabbit!” The rabbit responded to the rattlesnake, “I know what you are, too! You have beady eyes, a big mouth, a slick appearance, and diamonds…

“They confessed their own sins” (Nehemiah 9:2). That is the story of the Jewish exiles who returned to Jerusalem in the days of Ezra and Nehemiah. They were working Steps 4 and 5 before Steps 4 and 5 had even been written. Taking a personal inventory of their shortcomings, they then released them with repentant…

“That’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.” We’ve all said that a zillion times. Sliced bread has become the measuring stick of all great inventions. But has it ever occurred to you that there really was a person who invented sliced bread? Meet Otto Rohwedder, of Davenport, Iowa. Working for Chillicothe Baking Company, Mr. Rohwedder…

Let’s play Bible Trivia. Can you name the only time in the Bible when God is shown running? Answer – Luke 15:20 “So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and…

Here are just a few strange, but true stories. A man went to a funeral, and he saw the deceased rise from the casket and stand in front of the church as the attendees entered. A woman returned home from work one day, only to find the sofa cushions arranged on the floor in the…

Martin Luther told the story of his professor who started every class the same way. He’d enter the room, hang up his coat, then bow before each student, one by one. Eventually, Luther managed the courage to ask the professor why he did this. The professor explained, “I bow before you in honor of what…

“Do you like green eggs and ham? I do not like them, Sam-I-Am. I do not like green eggs and ham. Would you like them here or there? I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them,…

I’ve been reading through the Book of Nehemiah. It has long been one of my favorite books of the Bible. But yesterday, I came across a little verse that had escaped me until now. “Sanballat, Tobiah, Geshem the Arab, and the rest of our enemies found out that I had finished rebuilding the wall and…

Between one set of miracles and another, the Bible says, “Now Jesus had to go through Samaria” (John 4:14). And so he was on his way, from Judah to Galilee, passing through the land of Samaria – an unwelcome place. The Samaritans were considered half-breeds, as they were the offspring of Jews and Gentiles. They…

Surrender is the central theme of recovery. Until you surrender your will to God’s, he cannot do for you what you have been unable to do for yourself. I love the way C.S. Lewis said it: “One of two things will happen to you. You will tell God, ‘Thy will be done.’ Or in the…

“Now John also was baptizing at Aenon near Salim, because there was plenty of water there” (John 3:23). I’m sure I’ve read that verse at least a hundred times. But it never hit me like it did today. For some reason, I never caught the impact of the last seven words: “because there was plenty…

Lou Gehrig was one of the greatest hitters in the history of baseball, and a true gentleman. He famously never argued with the umpires. That is why one particular game stood out. After taking a third strike, Gehrig turned to the home plate umpire and said something that no one else could hear. He then…

If you ever find yourself accused of a crime, the first thing you need to do is to get a good lawyer. That is especially true in the court of sin. John wrote, “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an…

“You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk?”       – Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry (1971)  I’ve learned one overarching lesson from my years of recovery, study, and working with men in addiction. Lucky is not a plan. Let me explain. Too often, in our quest for recovery, we just…

On this date in history, 42 years ago, President Ronald Reagan nearly died in office. On March 30, 1981, less than three months into his first term, Reagan was shot by John Hinckley as he left a Washington hotel. A few days later, Reagan explained what he did wrong, with his typical sense of humor.…

According to various research projects, we have 15,000 thoughts per day, 80 percent of which are negative and 95 percent are repetitive. Most of our thoughts are random, unintended, and trivial. A productive thought life does not come naturally. Henry Ford said, “Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so…

A hiker crossed paths with a farmer who was hiking up a mountain with an ax in his hand. The hiker asked the farmer why he had the ax, and the farmer answered, “I’m climbing the mountain with an ax to cut up some timber because I’m making a wagon.” The hiker replied, “But look…

On March 31, 1973, Ken Norton defeated Muhammad Ali in decisive fashion, breaking his jaw in the second round. Their rematch came six months later, on September 10. But something bizarre happened three nights before their second fight. Both fighters made a joint appearance on The Tonight Show, with Johnny Carson. After Norton discussed the…

On October 31, 1517, Martin Luther – an obscure Augustinian monk – nailed a document protesting the teachings and practices of the Church to the main door of Castle Church in Wittenberg. His actions sparked the flames of the Protestant Reformation. In 1939, Nicholas Winton – an ordinary 39-year-old stockbroker from London – managed to…

Before we begin, for the sake of transparency, let me say that I’m from Texas and will always consider myself a proud Texan. Maybe that’s why I can recognize the wisdom of these laws that are still on the books in Texas. For the first 55 years of my life, I lived in Texas. Today,…

One of the great threats to our sobriety is the comparison trap. We want to be like someone else. But the truth is, God created you just right, in order to do the things no one else can do. Catherine of Siena said, “Be who God meant for you to be and you will set…

Setting goals is not the problem. The problem is setting the right goals, and then sticking with them. Make no mistake. God wants you to set goals and he wants you to be successful. We read, “May God give you the desire of your heart and make your plans succeed” (Psalm 20:4).  So why do…

The secret sauce of recovery is community. You cannot find recovery without it. You were made for community. To try to stay sober on your own is to mock the God who said to “be perfectly united [with others] in mind and thought” (1 Corinthians 1:10). Daniel Siegel wrote, in Aware, “Relationships are not icing…

“Some of you chaps should go home and take naps.”       – Dr. Seuss There are five primary triggers that make us want to act out. You can remember them with the acronym “B.L.A.S.T.” We tend to relapse when we are . . . Let’s talk about that last one – tired. One of the worst…

Psalm 137:2 “There on the willows we hung our harps.” The children of God had passed from the uttermost to the gutter most. Once proud inhabitants of the land that flowed with milk and honey, they were now enslaved in the land of Babylon. Their response was understandable: “By the rivers of Babylon we sat…

Life is short. Let me give you just a few examples. Why do I share these horrifying stories? Because I want to reinforce the fact that life is fragile and life is short. So what’s my point? My point is that each of us would be wise to measure the state of our sobriety, recovery,…

A 2020 study of 184 participants found that we have an average of 6,000 thoughts per day. Other studies take this number to 60,000 or 70,000. Another study found that 80 percent of our daily thoughts are negative. Our minds tend to run to the worst case scenario. We are consumed with thoughts about all…

What you do tomorrow will be determined by the voice you listen to today. Patrick Morley, founder of Man in the Mirror, says that throughout each day, we listen to four voices: We can’t always cut off these voices, but we do get to choose which ones we will listen to and which ones we…

One Sunday, when the pastor was out of town, the church bulletin provided this announcement: “With Pastor Johnson out this week, please give his massages to his secretary.” One letter can mean everything. In case you didn’t catch that, there is a big difference between a message and a massage.  In English, one letter can…

On this date in 1894, Coca-Cola was bottled and sold for the first time, in Vicksburg, Mississippi, by local fountain owner Joseph Bieden. Today, 1.9 billion servings of Coca-Cola will be served in over 200 countries. Annual revenues total $38 billion. Since its first offering, several new renditions of Coke have been introduced: Diet Coke…

“He said, ‘Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where have you come from and where are you going?’ Then she called on the name of the Lord who spoke to her, ‘You are a God who sees’” (Genesis 16:8, 13). You may remember this story. Hagar was pregnant. She had fled from her nemesis Sarai. But the Lord…

Every person you know knows something that you don’t. So you have something to learn from everyone. And everyone has something to learn from you. That’s because we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by his ability to climb a…

In 1966, the new Metropolitan Opera House opened in New York. It was one of the social events of the 20th century.  But imagine if the Board of the Metropolitan Opera had said, “For our opening night, with the greatest orchestra ever assembled, we’re going to invite homeless people, and as many down and out…

Here are some things you need to know. You yawn the most after breakfast. You lose weight if you sleep in a cold room. You are the tallest thing in the morning. Sharp knives are safer than dull knives. People with friends live longer. Wait. Let’s go back to that last one. People with friends…

In my world, people fall into one of two groups. They are either walking in purity and freedom or they want to be. Those who want to be may be holding onto old habits or embedded in unhealthy relationships. They want out, but they just aren’t ready yet. St. Augustine once quipped, “Lord, help me…

The next time you attend a recovery meeting, I can tell you how to tell who in that group has the most sobriety. It will be the person who got up earliest that morning. Sobriety is truly a one-day-at-a-time proposition.  Charles Schulz said it like this: “Life is like an ice cream cone. You have…

In 1931, Knute Rockne died in a plane crash at the age of 43. Having led Notre Dame’s football program for the last ten years, Rockne was recognized as America’s first great college coach. His lessons are still taught in locker rooms and on football fields today.  Here’s just one gem from the legendary coach:…

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) identifies four pillars of recovery: Let’s talk about the first one, which we probably focus on the least as addicts.  John wrote, “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health” (3 John 1:2). Self-care is absolutely…

The Bible says, “Rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 5:18). I have been rejoicing in the wife of my youth for 40 years now. On February 26, 1983, Beth and I were married. That’s a long time ago. Since we said, “I do,” 40 years ago, a lot has changed. I have had…

For those of us living in the United States, this is a dark day in our nation’s history. On this date, February 25, 1913, Congress passed the 16th Amendment, which set the legal basis for the national income tax. No one enjoys tax day. Otherwise, they would pay more taxes than is required. But paying…

“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems.”      – Alcoholics Anonymous  “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you’” (Isaiah 41:13). Recovery is a long road. The first step is always the same – acceptance. Step 1…

“Because I know He holds the future,  And life is worth the living,  Just because He lives.”      – Because He Lives        Bill Gaither Because He Lives was written by Bill and Gloria Gaither when they were expecting their first child in the late 1960s. They were going through a traumatic time, as Bill was recovering…

Four years ago today, Billy Graham died at the age of 99. Too quickly, we forget our heroes. I never want to forget Billy Graham. On my dad’s last birthday (June 13, 1979), Billy Graham preached in Houston’s Astrodome. I was a 19-year-old student pastor. I drove a large van, packed with close to 20…

When I was a kid, I often explained my resistance to doing homework with a timeless refrain. “I will never need this in real life!” I appreciate social commentator Fran Lebowitz, who wryly observed, “In real life, there is no such thing as algebra.” Perhaps Solomon was thinking about algebra when he lamented, “It’s all…

I heard someone say, “People say nothing is impossible. I disagree. I do nothing every day.” I have found that it is the people who do nothing that get into the most trouble. By not staying busy, they create a vacuum. And just about anything can fill an open vacuum. One of the five basic…

Adversity can be your friend. The older I get, the less I think I really know. But one tenet has been tested throughout my life, and has always been found to be true – Whatever God allows, God redeems. We see this play out in the life of our Savior. “Because he himself was tested…

An unobservant driver made an illegal right turn onto another street. Exasperated, he turned to his young son in the passenger seat and said, “That was stupid! I just made an illegal right turn!” His son offered encouragement. “Aw, dad, it’s okay. The police car right behind us just did the same thing.” That boy…

There was a young boy who struggled with profanity. His father took him to a field across the street from their home, where there stood an old fence. He gave his son a box of nails and a hammer. “Every time you say a bad word, hammer a new nail into the fence,” he said. …

“Regrets, I’ve had a few. But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do, And saw it through without exemption.”       – Frank Sinatra, My Way Regrets – we’ve all had a few. Let’s talk about regrets. According to psychologist Tom Gilovich, there is a difference between short-term and long-term regrets.…

God does a lot of things. He creates. He saves. He redeems. He forgives. He protects. He leads. He provides. He overcomes. He heals.  But there’s more. God does something else. The old prophet declared, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with…

Recovery is about more than stringing together several days of sobriety. Recovery is as much about overcoming failures as it is about creating success. I read an interesting article in Forbes (October, 2020), which addresses seven ways to overcome failure. One of the keys is profound: “Don’t be tempted to lower your ambitions.” In other…

“According to the map, we’ve only gone four inches.”      – Jeff Daniels, Dumb and Dumber (1994) Have you ever felt that way? In my personal recovery, there have been so many times that I felt like, despite a lot of really good effort, I had only progressed four inches. But here’s the deal – recovery…

There’s an old saying in sports – “Records are made to be broken.” Well, here are a few records that might never be broken: Paul was a champion of breaking records, of reaching heights never achieved before. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Now, think “recovery.” What can you…

There have been a lot of definitions of the eighth wonder of the world that have floated around over the years. Albert Einstein called the eighth wonder of the world – ready for this? Compound interest. We overestimate what we can accomplish in a day, but we underestimate what God can do in a year…

Most of our readers are either sex addicts or are married to one. But some of you, while struggling with sexually compulsive activities, are not yet certain if you really qualify as an addict. Since there is no blood test for sexual addiction, a diagnosis will always include a level of subjectivity.  But for most…

My favorite sports are: American football, basketball, and baseball. In the first two of those sports, I’m amazed at the ability of athletes to play through injuries. With baseball, not so much. Here are just a few ways baseball players injured themselves badly enough to have to miss dozens of games. I think the lesson…

According to many professional wrestling experts, the greatest wrestling tag team of all time was The Road Warriors, known individually as Animal and Hawk. From 1983 to 2014, this ruthless tag team won dozens of titles, including the NWA World Championship three times.  Here’s how they did it. When Animal got into trouble, Hawk would…

Dr. David Deyhimy, Medical Director of The Edge Treatment Center, cites recent data on addiction. His findings include: Addiction is a pandemic on many levels. Your first job, if you are a sex addict, is to admit the magnitude of the problem. You must get honest and tell someone, “I have a problem, and I…

In 1959, Burt Pugach met Linda Riss, and it was love at first sight. But when Linda discovered that Burt was already married and had children, she ended the relationship. In retaliation, Burt paid three assailants to toss lye in Linda’s face, which nearly blinded her for life. Burt served 14 years in prison for…

On this day in history, 35 years ago, the great John Elway took his Denver Broncos to the Super Bowl, only to lose to the Washington Redskins, 42-10. For many, such a blowout would have been devastating.  But another January 31 would eventually come around, 11 years later, when Elway would redeem himself, leading the…

A friend suffered a recent relapse. “What do I do now?” he asked me. My simple answer was, “Do the next right thing.” Where we get off the rails in recovery is by making things too complicated. We don’t relapse because we don’t know what to do, but because we don’t do what we know. …

Underwater somersaulting is not yet an official Olympic sport. But that never stopped Marta Fernandez Perez from setting a world record in 2001, when she completed 28 backward somersaults underwater – on one breath.  How did Marta come to be the queen of underwater somersaults? I’m not sure, but I’m going to guess that she…

What role do rewards play in recovery? Dr. John F. Kelly addresses this in his article, Recovery from Addiction. He writes, “It is now well known that the repetition of rewarding behaviors produces changes in brain function and structure that facilitate habits and, for some, sustained compulsivity and addiction.” Dr. Kelly is saying that one…

“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”      – Jaws, 1975 Actor Rob Scheider played Brody in the movie. Citing the great shark, and contemplating what it would take to bring him in, he said, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” This famous movie line has become an appropriate metaphor for life. Many times, our biggest problem…

The Bible has a lot to say about anxiety. Jesus said, “Do not be anxious” (Matthew 6:25). Solomon said, “An anxious heart weighs a man down” (Proverbs 12:25). And Paul added, “Be anxious for nothing” (Philippians 4:6). So what is the problem with anxiety? Why is it such a bad thing? Author Amelia Aldao writes,…

In his fascinating book, Exactly What to Say, Phil M. Jones writes, “The real world tells us that people will work far harder to avoid a potential loss than they will to achieve a potential gain.” This is exactly why most addicts don’t seek help until they hit bottom. Their greater motivator is not the…

After retiring from coaching, John Wooden was asked what he missed most. I’ll give you a hint: it wasn’t the games, trophies, or championships. In a word, Wooden said what he missed most was practice. As a chaplain for the Houston Rockets, I often sat on the sideline watching the players go through their pregame…

In 1969, Dr. Denton Cooley performed the world’s first successful heart transplant. His iconic career was marked by unmatched recognition over five decades of groundbreaking work. As an aside, he performed heart surgery on my Dad, saving his life in 1960.  Dr. Cooley was not shy about his success. Once appearing as an expert witness…

A writer named David Redding told of his days growing up on a farm in Scotland. As a young boy, he was given a beautiful black puppy, which he named Teddy. Redding and Teddy were inseparable. When Redding had to go off to war, he was unable to return for more than two years. But…

“God is good, God is great, let us thank him for our food. Amen.” That was my first prayer. My family was not very religious, but we did pray before every meal. And that was our daily prayer. My brother and I took turns, day to day. But the prayer never changed. After I came…

Regrets. Let’s talk regrets. Psychologist Tom Gilovich says there is a difference between short-term and long-term regret. In the short term, we tend to regret the mistakes we’ve made. But in the long term? We regret the opportunities we’ve missed more than the mistakes we’ve made by a margin of 84 percent to 16 percent.…

I’m all about grace. We are saved by grace. We find recovery by grace. We must live by grace. To others, we must extend grace. So where do works come into the picture?  Martin Luther provides the perfect answer: “God does not need your good works, but your neighbor does.” Jesus said our faith would…

Hall-of-Fame coach Chuck Knoll won 68 percent of his NFL games – with Terry Bradshaw as his quarterback. When anyone else played quarterback, Knoll only won 47 percent of his games. With Tom Brady at quarterback, Bill Belichick won 77 percent of the time; with other quarterbacks, just 48 percent. And Marv Levy won 66…

One of the keys to making good habits is to establish good routines. But once the routine becomes routine, you have to change it. This is known as the law of requisite variety. For example, if you always work out the same way, your workout will eventually lose its effectiveness, as your body adapts to…

Let’s turn to R.C. Sproul for some great insight today. He wrote, “To know that God knows everything about me and yet loves me is indeed my ultimate consolation.” God knows you intimately and loves you fully. Until you understand that, recovery will be a mirage, something you long for but cannot touch. God promises,…

When the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620, they were faced with harsh conditions. When they became desperate for food, Governor William Bradford rationed five grains of corn per day for each person. When things got better, Bradford did not want the people to forget what they had gone through, so at every Thanksgiving…

God has given us three kinds of sight; we need all three. Let’s talk about that last one – hindsight. Sometimes our past is our best teacher. During his commencement address at Stanford University, Steve Jobs said, “You can only connect the dots by looking backward.” The Bible encourages us, “Remember the days of old,…

Are you a problem solver? While that can be a good thing, it comes with a downside.   Reflecting on his work as a psychiatrist, Carl Jung discovered a fascinating truth about seemingly insurmountable problems. They can’t be solved. They can only be outgrown. We all have problems that cannot be solved. For me that includes…

I’m not a student of Albert Einstein, nor do I have evidence that he battled addictions. But he said something that every addict should embrace. It is one of the most important principles in recovery from any addiction or destructive habit. “A problem cannot be solved,” said Einstein, “from the same level of consciousness that…

David Letterman said, “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.”  Here’s the bigger lesson. Men and women are different. In fact, I’ll go even further. Ready for this? Men and men are different. Women and women are different. You…

On September 2, 1892, a boxer named Gentleman Jim Corbett stepped into the ring with arguably the greatest boxer who would ever live, John L. Sullivan. Sullivan was the last heavyweight champion of the bare-knuckle era and the first champion who wore gloves. In fifty fights, he had never lost.  This night would be different.…

Three men all gave their elderly mother special gifts for Christmas – a new Mercedes, a new house, and a talking parrot. A week later, they returned for a visit, and asked how she enjoyed their gifts. To the first she said, “Thank you so much for my car. I love it!” To the second…

An elderly pastor was once asked, “If you were stranded on an island and could have one book with you, which book would you choose?” Of course, the expected answer was, “The Bible.” But the pastor said, without hesitation, “If I was stranded on an island and could have just one book, I’d choose a…

Sixty-four years ago this week, a young basketball player made his NBA debut. In his first game, he scored a rather unimpressive six points. But he kept at it. Over his NBA career, Bill Russell would win more championships than any player before him. In fact, the NBA Finals MVP Award is named in his…

I have a close friend who rides 12 miles a day on his bike, at age 70. I was pretty impressed with that until I read about Annie Cohen Kopchovsy. Annie was a mother of three, living in Boston. While she enjoyed riding her bike, she wasn’t crazy about it. That all changed when a…

A man was playing golf when he hit his ball into the woods. Retrieving his ball, he discovered a talking frog sitting nearby. The frog said, “I am no ordinary frog. If you kiss me, I will become a beautiful woman, marry you, and make you happy for the rest of your life.” The golfer…

French philosopher Paul Ricoeur viewed life as a series of three movements. First, there is orientation, when we feel at home and at peace. Then we go through a period of disorientation, when a life-changing event occurs, a catastrophe strikes and we feel disillusioned. Finally, there is a transition to reorientation, or the “new normal.”…

In recovery, the measure of success is not whether you ever have a slip or relapse, but how you respond. Don’t misunderstand me; you should never have another slip or relapse! But if you keep this verse close by: “The righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity”…

Are you completely satisfied with where you are with your life and recovery? If not, check out this formula for healthy change: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective.  Perhaps you need a good road trip. The next time you take off across the country on a journey to find yourself,…

In the summer of 1957, 12-year-old Ed Catmull was on a cross-country trip with his family, driving on a crooked canyon road with no guardrails. A car driving in the opposite direction zigged into their lane, and Catmull’s dad zagged in the opposite direction. Their car came two inches from driving off the cliff. That’s…

Continue. That may be the most important word in recovery – continue. Have you been attending support groups? Continue. Have you been in therapy? Continue. Have you started working the Steps? Continue. What matters is not what you began, but what you continue. The great apostle never bragged on the start of his journey. It…

In December, 1874, a snowstorm hit the western United States. John Muire, a founder of the Sierra Club, left his friend’s cabin in the Sierra Nevadas to climb a 100-foot tree from which he would experience the full force of the storm.  Muir made a habit of doing things that took him to the edge…

The goal of recovery is to do the right thing, then let the results follow. Focus on recovery work, not recovery. If you do that – go to meetings, work the Steps, remain accountable – solid recovery will be the inevitable result.  The Bible calls this “sowing seeds.” Solomon said, “Sow your seed in the…

You can turn your darkness into light. In fact, you’ve got to turn your darkness into light! Aristotle said, “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” In his brilliant book, Survival, pastor Ben Young identifies five typical tactics of what he calls the shadow voice: fear, self-pity, self-indulgence,…

All recovery is spiritual. J.I. Packer said, “Disregard the study of God, and you sentence yourself to stumble and blunder through life blindfolded.” Every day, I do two readings: something in recovery and something from the Bible. If I have to pick one, I choose the Bible. Why? Because every time I draw near to…

The most holy place you will ever be is in the presence of God, wherever you find that.  The old prophet said of the Lord, “He will be a holy place” (Isaiah 8:14).  The Hebrew root word for “holy” is qadosh; the Greek word is hagios. Both words, form the Old and New Testaments, mean…

You can take God’s promises to the bank.  Imagine that I gave you a check for a thousand dollars. Would you withhold your thanks until the check cleared the bank? No, you would express gratitude right away, assuming the check wouldn’t bounce, based on what you know about my character. God’s promises are better than…

Nothing matters more than the people you choose to spend time with. Author Jim Rohn said that we become the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Solomon concluded, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20). There are certain people you…

Epictetus said, “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”  Life must be lived in the moment. Every day, you will face challenges that can make or break you. British theologian John Blanchard nailed it: “For daily needs, there’s daily grace. For sudden needs, there’s sudden grace.…

The opposite of addiction is community. And today, that’s a problem, because most people aren’t too good at personal connection. Case in point: the average person checks his phone 96 times a day. There is nothing more annoying than sitting with someone, trying to hold a meaningful conversation, while they keep checking their phone.  The…

Award-winning actor Jim Carrey once wrote himself a check for $10 million – when he had nothing.  Early in his acting career, when no one else believed in Carrey, he believed in himself. So one day, he wrote a check to himself in the amount of $10 million, postdated five years. He was telling himself,…

As a young pastor, I read everything I could find about the great evangelist of the 19th century, D.L. Moody. I was once blessed to touch the pulpit he used in Chicago. To me, that was like touching the bat Babe Ruth used to hit his last home run. In Moody’s biography, I read an…

Humility is a key to success, in recovery or anything else. Malcolm Gladwell said it well: “We are better people when we are humble.” What is humility? Jordan Peterson defines humility as the “recognition of personal insufficiency and the willingness to learn.” I ask you three questions: Are you still willing to learn? Do you…

If your faith is strong enough, you will never be sick, you will always have plenty of money, and life will always be easy. And I will be the next quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Of course, none of this is true. The uncomfortable truth is that, even if you do great recovery work, love…

In order to break the shackles of addiction, you must first break the shackles of shame. This is only possible for the man or woman who is sensitive to the work of the Holy Spirit, for we know that “the unrighteous know no shame” (Zephaniah 3:5).  Jesus described the specific work of the Holy Spirit:…

Let’s talk about joy. Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, “Joy is the surest sign of the presence of God.” I agree. God is the author of joy. Even for the addict and the offended spouse, joy is an option. Paul knew a little about persecution and injustices when he prayed, “May the God…