Gold Watch

Dream big dreams. Shoot for the stars. Aim high, don’t settle, and never look back. Famous architect Daniel Burnham was right: “Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men’s blood and probably themselves will not be realized. Make big plans, aim high in hope and work. Remember that our sons and grandsons…

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Time

God has given us all the same thing every year – 12 months; 365 days; 8,760 hours; 525,600 minutes; 31,536,000 seconds. It’s what we do with that time that counts. J.R.R. Tolkien said, “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” Laura Meyer, clinical therapist, writes, “I…

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Troubles

“Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Nobody knows my sorrow. Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Glory, Hallelujah.”      – Louis Armstrong We have all known trouble. Some of our troubles are self-afflicted (like looking at porn). Others are the product of living in a fallen world. The Bible is clear. “The righteous person may have…

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Taste It

Have you ever had someone in recovery let you down? I sure have! Don’t let the mistakes of a sponsor, counselor, or group member throw you off. There are sinners and hypocrites all over the place – even in recovery groups. But a bad second-hand experience should never convince you recovery is not possible.  Let…

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The Unrequired

NBA coach Kevin Eastman has been around dozens of great basketball players, up close. He was asked what made the difference between really good players and exceptional players. “Exceptional players,” said Coach Eastman, “do the things that are unrequired.” He explained that most players live for the praise of their teammates and coaches. They practice…

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Prayer and Recovery

There is a close relationship between prayer and recovery. Dr. Rob Whitley, author and psychologist, writes, “New research indicates that regular prayer can have many mental health benefits.” A study completed by Harvard professor Tyler VanderWeele found that young adults who prayed daily tended to have fewer depressive symptoms, and higher levels of satisfaction and…

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19 Years

According to the Cleveland Clinic, sexual addiction begins, on average, at age 18. But the typical addict doesn’t reach out for help until age 37. So they live in their addiction for 19 years before they seek help.  And that’s a shame. There are two problems with waiting 19 years to get help. The Bible…

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Just One Step

“I have a mustard seed, and I know how to use it!”      – God Mustard seeds aren’t that impressive. They are just 0.1 inches in diameter. But mustard trees can reach heights of 30 feet, with branches 20 feet long. You know the verse: “If you have the faith the size of a mustard seed,…

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Edison Needed Help

Let me shed some light on a fake understanding of history. Thomas Edison did not invent the light bulb. At least, not on his own. In a book by Ernest Freeberg, we learn that the original light bulb reflected the work of many inventors, rather than Edison’s genius alone. The research and development culminated with…

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Shell

In 1897, the Shell Transport and Trading Company was launched. Shell began selling gas out of its first gas station, in California, in 1915. Eventually, Shell built eight gas stations that all looked like giant shells. Today, just one such station remains, in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.  From her humble beginnings, Shell now has its headquarters…

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Roller Coasters

In the 1880s, hosiery businessman LaMarcus Thompson was greatly troubled by the hedonistic places like saloons and brothels that had become so prominent for too many Americans. So he set out to straighten up one of the most immoral places he could think of – Coney Island in New York. There, he built America’s first…

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Thorny Prayers

I know a lot of people who teach that if we just love God and have enough faith, we will never have to suffer. Try telling that to the apostle Paul.  This was his story. “Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given…

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Telescopes

When I was about 15, Dad bought us a telescope. My brother and I looked at the moon and other celestial objects for hours. But then boredom set in, so we turned the telescope around and looked through it the other way. Instead of objects looking bigger and closer, they appeared smaller and further away.…

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Titanic

Did you see the movie, Titanic (1997)? You may remember that iconic scene when young Jack, played by Leonardo DiCaprio, stands at the bow of the ship, spreads out his arms, and shouts, “I’m the king of the world!” Most of us would never be so brash as to say that, but when we choose…

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Plan B

There’s Still Hope was never God’s Plan A. There. I said it. What does that mean? I’m glad you asked. The thing is, God’s Plan A was for me to get into recovery 30 years sooner. If I had done that, I would have never lost my pastoral ministry. And we would have never launched…

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Presidential Humor

I don’t know if national leaders outside the United States provide much comedic material, but I am confident America’s leaders – past and present – stand at the forefront of such things. Here are just a few funny lines from some of our leaders. (Note – presidential humor is a bipartisan phenomenon.) The need for…

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The Pool

In order to get to the deep end of the pool, you first go through the shallow end. In recovery, the shallow end is lust and fantasy; the deep end is porn and masturbation. The key to staying out of the deep end is to stay out of the pool altogether. James identified this progression…

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No Place Like Home

“Mid pleasures and palaces Though oft I may roam, Be it ever so humble, There’s no place like home.”      – John Howard Payne God created two great institutions throughout history – the family and the church. It all starts with the family. What happens in the home is everything. Indeed, “there’s no place like home.”…

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A Strange Request

You’ve probably read the same surveys I’ve read. Famous people of all stripes are often asked, “If you could spend time with one person from history, who would it be?” The most common response is always the same: Jesus. By a wide margin, people say they wish they could spend time with Jesus, in the…

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All Other Nations

Have you ever read this damning verse about Israel? “Judah has become like all the other nations” (Ezekiel 25:8). That means that God’s children took on the same character, made the same choices, and adapted the same values as everyone else. And that was a problem. Writing for Harvard Business Review, Patrick M. Lencioni says…

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A New Approach

Not every recovery tool will yield the same results. I came across this little verse the other day. It speaks directly to this issue. “You do not know which will succeed – this or that – or whether both will do equally well” (Ecclesiastes 11:6). The solution is to try multiple strategies that will bring…

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Make Your Bed

A few weeks ago, I asked each of the 96 men who attended that week’s Freedom Groups to name a daily routine that helped with their recovery. One man said what no one else was thinking. “I floss.” Really? What does flossing one’s teeth have to do with recovery? This man explained, referring to a…

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Raise the Bar

Recently, during one of my Freedom Group sessions, a participant said something that has really stuck with me. It was truly profound:  “As we grow in our recovery, our standard of sobriety gets higher.” Let that sink in. As we become stronger in our recovery work and take new ground, something else happens. What we…

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Beatles Lesson

“Help, I need somebody. Not just anybody.”      – The Beatles, 1965 We all need help. And we all need somebody. But we also need to be the somebody whom somebody else needs. Ralph Waldo Emerson said it well: “The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable,…

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Elementary

“Elementary, my dear Watson.”      – The Return of Sherlock Holmes, 1929 Elementary is not a bad thing. Every success story has a small beginning. Every athlete, astronaut, doctor, engineer, and Recovery Minute writer had to start someplace. Every scholar graduated from elementary school well before he earned advanced degrees.  Recovery works the same way. Start…

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Masks

In early dramas, a single actor would often play multiple parts, so he would have to put on a different mask to represent each role that he played. Many of us do the same thing. We wear one mask for our friends, another for our family, and one at church. We even wear a mask…

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A New Motor

Sobriety is not your goal. At least, it shouldn’t be. Your goal should not be abstinence – from unwanted sexual behavior or any other sin. So what is the goal? In a word, transformation. We are commanded to “be transformed” (Romans 12:2). We must be “born again” (John 3:7). Every man in Christ is a…

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The Comeback Kid

Everyone loves a good comeback story. And I can think of no better example of a comeback than that of Mark, in the New Testament. I’m biased toward Mark for two reasons: (a) my parents named me after him (erroneously thinking he was one of the twelve apostles), and (b) his is a comeback story.…

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The Rope

I am grateful for the life of Manasseh, the evil king of Judah. Manasseh lived a life of idolatry and sexual immorality. As a result, God allowed him to be taken captive by the evil Assyrian empire. But then everything changed. From captivity, Manasseh cried out to God. “In his distress he sought the favor…

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A Plan that Works

In our addiction, we get everything backwards. Randy Alcorn writes, “God created us to love people and use things, but materialists love things and use people.”  Every addict I know has done the same thing. We use things – and people – to address every pleasure. If someone gets hurt in the process, well, that’s…

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Rubik’s Cube

Guess who created the Rubik’s Cube?  Here’s a better question. How long did it take Erno Rubik to solve the cube after he created it?  Answer: one month. The current world record is 4.22 seconds. Here’s what happened. Erno Rubik invented the famous cube, but it took someone else to learn how to solve it…

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Hunger Games

Hunger. It is one of the most overlooked aspects of recovery. To stay sober, you must stay hungry. And that is not always easy. That’s because the thing that got you into recovery may no longer be a force in your sobriety. The discovery, disease, or disaster may have long since passed. The urgency has…

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The Best State to Live

I heard someone say, “I’m sure that wherever Mom is right now, she is looking down on us. She’s not dead, she’s just condescending.” Do you know anyone like that? Someone who thinks they have “arrived”? They have all the answers. They are beyond temptation. They have life – and recovery – all figured out.…

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“This Is a Football”

Every season, for his first practice, legendary basketball coach John Wooden took the full hour to teach his players how to properly put on their shoes and socks. In a similar fashion, when Vince Lombardi welcomed his new rookies to camp, he always began the same way. Holding a football in his hand, he said,…

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Empathy

It’s the gift everyone needs, but few are willing to pay the price to get it. Empathy. The problem is that empathy doesn’t come naturally for most of us. We want what comes easily. And empathy is rarely on that list. We’ve read the verse a zillion times: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with…

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Out of Your System

I’ve heard many guys say something like this, in the face of their strongest sexual temptations. “I’m just going to do it one more time, so I can get it out of my system.” Here’s the problem with that thinking. By doing what you think will get it out of your system, you are really…

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Withdraw!

“But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray” (Luke 5:16). Withdraw. That was something Jesus did really well. He knew when to withdraw – from the city, the crowds, his disciples, even ministry. How good are you at that – withdrawing?  Dr. Monica Johnson, clinical psychologist, is an expert on stressors that threaten our…

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Prepare

Everyone wants to be a winner. I’ve never met a person who wanted to fail at anything, including recovery. Yet, so many fail.  Why is that? Coach Bear Bryant nailed it. He said, “It’s not the will to win that matters. Everyone has that. It’s the will to prepare to win that matters.” We all…

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One More Hit

“If I only had one more hit.” Millions are in search for that elusive “hit” that will forever satisfy their sexual and relational longings. We are convinced that by getting more of what is never enough, we will finally be content. Through thousands of porn images, hundreds of “hook-ups” and countless nights of self-pleasure, the…

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John Belushi

Isolation is both a trigger and a fear. Being alone is a threat to our recovery, as we thrive on connection, which is the opposite of addiction. Actor John Belushi’s final words were quite telling. Shortly before his death in 1982, he said, “Just don’t leave me alone.” No one wants to be left alone.…

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God’s Megaphone

“He turns midnight into dawn” (Amos 5:8). C.S. Lewis wrote, in The Problem of Pain, “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pain. Pain is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”  Pain is a part of the big plan. What…

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Bullfrogs

Bullfrogs don’t sleep. But don’t let that stop you. Rest is important. Otherwise, God wouldn’t have promised, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest” (Exodus 33:14). The Psychology Today staff writes, “The relationship between sleep and mental health – both positive and negative – is multifaceted and complex. But in…

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Don’t Misread God

We misread God’s work all the time. One of our most common mistakes is that we incorrectly draw a correlation between (a) an easy, happy life, and (b) God’s approval. If things are going great, it is proof that God is good to us. Not so fast. The Old Testament prophet said, “You only have…

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The Cake

We do it four times a year. We bake a chocolate cake – for each of the four birthdays in our family. And while the finished product is fantastic, the individual ingredients themselves don’t taste so good – raw eggs, flour, cake mix, vegetable oil. But put them together and stick it in the oven…

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Your Past

Don’t gloss over your past. Your past can be a great teacher if you let it. Gordon MacDonald wrote, “If your yesterdays are in a state of good repair, they provide strength for today. If not repaired, they create havoc.” Most of us respond to our past in one of two ways, which are both…

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Response

I am grateful for this promise: “The Lord is passionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love” (Psalm 103:8). I can’t imagine where I’d be if not for that grace. But God’s grace doesn’t take away from our need to do the hard work of recovery. James R. Miller said, “It is a great…

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A Time to Give Up

In order to stay sober, you need to know when to surrender. The Old Testament writer said, “There is a time to search and a time to give up” (Ecclesiastes 3:6). For most of us, surrender doesn’t come easily. Why is this? Answer: we are all control freaks. That’s the nature of sin. We want…

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Wisdom

You don’t relapse because you don’t know what to do. You relapse because you don’t do what you know. Mark Twain was right: “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you in trouble.” We don’t lack knowledge; we lack wisdom. David prayed, “God, look within the hearts of men and examine all their motives”…

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The Road Less Traveled

You are probably familiar with Robert Frost’s famous poem, The Road Not Taken, in which he depicts a person facing a dilemma. He has two possible pathways from which to choose – one that is frequently traveled and one that is rarely taken. In the poem, the person chooses the road less traveled.  For the…

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SpaceX

On April 20, Elon Musk’s SpaceX’s newest Starship rocket exploded just a few minutes after take-off. The next day, Musk lost $12.6 billion of his net worth when Tesla’s stock tanked.  His response? Keep moving forward. Musk called the SpaceX explosion a “successful failure.”  When others would drop their head and mope, Elon Musk learned…

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Crooked

Solomon offered interesting wisdom when he said, “What is crooked cannot be straightened” (Ecclesiastes 1:15). That doesn’t mean we are beyond hope. But some of our choices have consequences with which we must live for the rest of our lives. Chuck Swindoll said it well: “No one can deny the relentless pain brought on by…

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The Basement

“Although they knew God, they did not glorify him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their hearts, and their foolish hearts were darkened” (Romans 1:21). The darkened heart is like a basement at the bottom of the stairs. While my childhood home didn’t have a basement, our relatives’ home in Kansas did.…

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Turn Off Your Camera

One of the most common questions I get is, “How do I overcome fantasy?” Of course, there is no silver bullet. The problem is that our biggest sex organ is our brain. As long as we have a brain, fantasy can be a threat. While there are many tools we can use to overcome fantasy…

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Finger Posts

Raise your hand if you can think of any failures in your life. A guy named C.S. Lewis had this to say about failures: “Failures, repeated failures, are finger posts on the road to achievement. One fails forward toward success.” If you really believe in Romans 8:28, you must also believe that God uses our…

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Three Stages of Relapse

Relapses are the predictable outcome of a series of poor choices. A relapse is never an event, but a process. Relapses come in three phases: Don’t focus too much on the physical part of relapse, the actual acting out behavior. Focus more on how you get to that point. Give greater attention to what is…

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Home Alone

Life is full of risks. And it is not always clear, what risks are worth taking. For example, did you know that Warner Brothers was producing the movie, Home Alone, but they pulled the plug on it at the last minute? They decided the $14 million cost was simply too high. There was no way…

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Managing Stress

Stress is not your buddy. In fact, he is your enemy. While some stress can serve to motivate us to meet deadlines and complete projects, excessive stress is one of the major triggers for addiction. There are two kinds of stress. Acute stress is caused by a significant event or dilemma. Chronic stress is tied…

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Shadows

While preparing for his fight with George Foreman, Muhammad Ali said, “I’ve seen George Foreman shadow box, and the shadow won.” Often, the shadow wins.  There are 52 references in the Bible to shadows. Here’s one such reference, tucked away in one of the least-read books of the Old Testament: “Our days on earth are…

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Paper Airplanes

The most coveted record in the history of flight has just been broken. Dillon Ruble, Nathaniel Erickson, and Garrett Jensen, three engineers at Boeing, broke the record in December. What did they do? They designed a paper airplane that flew 290 feet with a single toss. Ruble was the one tasked with throwing the plane.…

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Freedom Day

On this date in 1776, America was born. While we have readers from over 20 different countries, I think we can all agree that the American experiment has turned out pretty well, for the most part. But while I will join millions of others in celebrating our independence today, I recognize that God is not…

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A Better Standard

Can you continue to lust after other people sexually and still be considered sober?  Yes and No. Technically, yes, if your definition of sobriety is that you do not act out physically. No, if you are defining sobriety in terms of your state of mind and your progress in recovery.  SA’s White Book defines sobriety…

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Outside Shooters

Basketball player Weldon Drew quipped, “We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all of our games are played indoors.” Location is everything. Here’s the good news. When you walk with God, you will never be alone, and you will always be in a place where he can really bless you. God promised his…

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Boredom

Let’s talk about one of the five primary triggers for acting out – boredom.  Solomon had something to say about boredom. “Slothfulness casts into a deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger” (Proverbs 19:15). Some studies indicate that 90 percent of Americans suffer from boredom at some point each day. Dr. Shahram Heshmat,…

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30,000 Bees

As everybody knows, bees are currently at risk due to colony collapse disorder. Gary Schempp did something about it. He saved 30,000 bees from certain death by creating a better place for them to live, then transported them to their new home. At last check, the bees were still buzzing over their new digs. Now…

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Finding Answers

“In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back.”      – Charlie Brown, Peanuts We all need answers to life’s questions: For answers to life’s questions, we start with God’s Word. Always go there first. But sometimes, we also need the help of another person. That is God’s plan. Paul said it well: “Whatever…

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Podcasts

Alice Cooper said, “If you’re listening to a rock star to get information on who to vote for, you’re a bigger moron than they are.” Solomon said, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel” (Proverbs 11:14). The question is, where do…

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Be Positive

We all thrive under encouragement and die under criticism. Solomon said it like this: “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24). Unfortunately, we can’t always count on receiving a lot of encouragement from others. We need to create our own attitude of positivity. Leaders with the…

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The Remote

Charlie Brown debuted in newspapers across the United States in 1950. For the next 50 years, he brought wisdom to readers far and wide. One of his many nuggets rings true for all of us: “Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself.” Have you had a slip or relapse lately? If you…

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The Key Ingredient

Experts at the Mayo Clinic have identified a key ingredient to successful recovery from any addiction. Friends. They write, “Friendships can have a major impact on your health and well-being, but it’s not always easy to develop or maintain friendships.” The famed clinic shares several benefits of strong friendships: The Bible is pro-friends. Paul wrote,…

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A Forest

Jadav Payeng was tired of watching the local wildlife suffer for lack of shade, so he did something about it. Payeng planted a single bamboo tree. Then he planted a second tree. And then a third. Payeng would eventually plant enough trees to become a thickly wooded forest covering 1,360 acres.  Payeng’s job was not…

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Scary Sneezing

I have endured a few scares in my lifetime. When I was eight, I ran through a glass door, resulting in deep cuts all over my body. At 27, the doctor said I probably had a serious cancer in my back. (I didn’t.) At 55, I rode Tower of Terror at Disney World. At 62,…

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Gentle Jesus

“I am gentle.”      – Jesus (Matt. 11:29) There are many words Jesus could have used to describe himself. But he said gentle. “I am gentle.” Remember that the next time you are tempted to condemn someone due to a relapse or some other mistake.  Be gentle. There is someone else who needs you to be…

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Forget It!

Recovery is all about looking forward. You can’t move forward while looking back. God’s Word says, “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?” (Isaiah 43:18). I love that: “Remember not the former things.” That is…

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Repeat the Verse

“Do it again on the next verse, and people will think you meant it.”      – Chet Adkins What’s true in music is true in life. When a singer repeats the same line over and over, it becomes memorable. We get the point – he is sending a clear message. Repetition communicates sincerity and importance.  It’s…

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Helping Others

One of the best ways to secure your recovery is to help others to secure theirs. May we be like the psalmist who promised God, “Then will I teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you” (Psalm 51:13). When we encourage others in their recovery, and they respond, God awaits, full of mercy…

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7th Step Prayer

Paul wasn’t talking about recovery, but he could have been when he said, “It does not depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy” (Romans 9:16).  Augustine said, “Trust the past to the mercy of God, the present to his love, and the future to his providence.” You have trusted your own instincts,…

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Laughter

Don’t regret the hard times. Everything God has allowed, he will use. He will never let your most painful moments go to waste. And those times will not last forever.  Jack Hyles offered good insight when he said, “Laughter means nothing unless there have been tears.” I’m guessing that along your journey of addiction or…

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The First Roller Coaster

People have been looking for ways to blow money since the Lydian Lion coin was created 2,700 years ago. In slightly more modern times, tourists couldn’t resist the urge to ride the world’s first roller coaster, even if it cost them something. Actually, it wasn’t supposed to be a roller coaster. When tourists witnessed rail…

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Bourbon

On this day in history, June 14, 1789, a preacher named Elijah Craig introduced bourbon to America. The high reverend was the first to distill whiskey from maize. He named his concoction “bourbon” because he lived in Bourbon Country, Kentucky. If you google “Elijah Craig sermons” you will come up dry. But if you google…

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The “P” Word

Passion is everything. It trumps intelligence, talent, and organization. You will never get far without passion.  Steve Jobs was right: “People with passion can change the world for the better.” Those who knew Jobs well will tell you that his passion was not about computers, but the impact that personal computers could have on the…

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Dreams

“Lose your dream, you lose your mind.”      – Rolling Stones, Ruby Tuesday We all need to dream big dreams. Here are a few of my dreams: What are your dreams? God is into dreams. He wants you to have great dreams, dreams that fit his plan for your life of recovery. My prayer for you…

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Do Something Today

Let me offer you the best advice you may get all day: Do something today that tomorrow will thank you for. Whatever you do today will have future consequences. You make your decisions, then your decisions make you. You can bank on that.  The prophet warned, “You have borne the penalty of your lewdness and…

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Accountability

Accountability – you can’t stay sober without it. But what makes good accountability good? Peter Bregman, executive coach, and best-selling author, wrote an enlightening article, “The Right Way to Hold People Accountable.” He suggests five keys to effective accountability: You need to be accountable to someone else. And as you grow in your recovery, you…

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Honest Arrogance

Frank Lloyd Wright wrote, “Early in my career, I had to choose between an honest arrogance and a hypocritical humility. I deliberately choose an honest arrogance, and I’ve never been sorry.” It’s okay to know you are good at something. But is it really necessary to tell everyone how good you are? With all due…

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Lessons from War

On this date in history, June 8, 1862, the Battle of Cross Keys became a seminal moment in the American Civil War. On that day, Confederate General Stonewall Jackson saved the Army of Northern Virginia from a Union assault on the James Peninsula, which was led by General George B. McClellan.  On June 8, 1862,…

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It’s How We Help

The 12th Step tells us to help others find recovery. Ben Franklin tells us how: “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” In order to secure our own recovery, we must help others to secure theirs. We do that by example, not lectures. It is by walking…

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Amber Alerts

We are all familiar with Amber alerts, in America. These are alerts that go out over everyone’s smartphones, notifying us that someone has suddenly gone missing. But where did Amber alerts begin? The girl behind the Amber alerts was Amber Hagerman, a nine-year-old Girl Scout from Arlington, Texas. She was kidnapped while riding her bike…

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The Truth Hurts

In one of the great movies of all time, Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) said, “The truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.” That line from Naked Gun 2.5 still resonates. Many times, the truth does hurt. When you discovered your dad was hooked…

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Mother’s Advice

Erma Bombeck described her relationship with her mother: “When my mother asked, ‘Can I give you a piece of advice?’ it was a mere formality. Regardless of my response, I was going to get a piece of Mother’s advice.” Now, we may not always want wise counsel. But we always need wise counsel. The Bible…

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The Perfect Date

Bob asked Jerry, “Describe your perfect date.” Jerry responded, “I’d have to say April 25. It’s not too hot and it’s not too cold.” I think Jerry missed the point of Bob’s question. The fact is, those who are single are always on a search for that elusive person we call “the perfect date.” Unfortunately,…

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Fruit Loops

Let’s start the day with a deep philosophical question.  Did you know that even though Fruit Loops are different colors, they all have the same flavor? While you ponder that, let me move on. The Bible says, “The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one body. So it is with…

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The Wrong Ladder

Artist William Blake completed a well-known etching that featured a little man climbing a ladder toward the moon. The caption read, “I Want! I Want!” We are all like that little man. In our restlessness, we climb and climb, in search for the satisfaction we want. When we finally make it to the top of…

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Storm Windows

It has happened several times since we moved to Florida, just a few miles from the coast. A hurricane has threatened to relocate us to Georgia. Each time that happens, I get a truck, run down to a lumber yard, and buy a bunch of plywood. Once again, it’s time to board up. We cut…

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More to Follow

Years ago, an anonymous painting of Niagara Falls ended up in a gallery. Because the artist hadn’t given the painting a title, the gallery personnel decided to entitle the painting “More to Follow.” That captures the essence of Niagara Falls. Billions of gallons of water have poured over the Falls over the years, but we…

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Beating the Bully

Little Johnny had had enough. He was tired of the school bully taking his $5 lunch money every day, so he decided to do something about it. Johnny signed up for karate classes so he could learn to defend himself. But it wasn’t long before Johnny discovered that the cost of karate lessons was $10…

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Ain’t That a Shame?

Shame is not your friend.  Guilt says, “You’ve done something bad.” Shame says, “You are bad.” If anyone could have lived in shame, it was the Apostle Paul, who had persecuted Christians prior to his own conversion. But Paul learned to run from shame.  In his great theological treatise, Paul asked, “Who will bring any…

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Tell Your Face!

I once knew a Christian who was always down in the dumps. I asked him, “Why don’t you have the joy of the Lord?” He replied, “I do! I’m very happy!” I said, “Tell your face!” That conversation never really happened. But it could have. I know a lot of people who are very serious,…

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The Dumpster

Imagine that you saw a man hanging around a dumpster. He looked hungry, so you gave him a $100 gift card to the supermarket just a few steps away. With that card he could purchase anything he wanted – steak, seafood, snacks, desserts, or produce. Your gift card would supply him with enough meals to…

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The Best of All

It has been reported that John Wesley’s final words were, “The best of all is, God is with us.” That is a powerful promise. In your addiction, God is with you. In your pain, God is with you. In your betrayal, God is with you. You can’t chase him away. You can’t outrun God. Even…

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A Whole Heart

“Amaziah was 25 years old when he became king, and he reigned for 29 years in Jerusalem. He did right in the sight of the Lord, yet not with a whole heart” (2 Chronicles 25:1-2). Amaziah became king at an age when most of us are still trying to graduate from college. To his credit,…

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Jesus Was Hungry

“The next day, as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry” (Mark 11:12). In my mind, I easily see a conquering Jesus. I see a healing Jesus, a preaching Jesus, and a miracle-working Jesus.  But a hungry Jesus? The day before Jesus was hungry, Jesus was busy. He rode into Jerusalem triumphantly. He visited the…

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The Last Ten Feet

Can you ever quit doing recovery work? What if you have ten years of sobriety? Or twenty?  I love the way Dr. Milton Magness says it: “You might outgrow addiction, but you’ll never outgrow recovery.” Let me use an analogy. Imagine that you are climbing a 14,000-foot mountain. The more you climb and the higher…

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15 Years

God promised King Hezekiah, “I will add 15 more years to your life” (2 Kings 20:6). If you had a guarantee of 15 more years, what would you do with that promise? Let me suggest a few things. I give you 15 ideas for 15 years. Make your own list. Be proactive with your life…

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Molly Brown

It happened on April 14, 1912, at 11:40 p.m. The unsinkable did the unthinkable. The RMS Titanic sank 2.5 miles to the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. Of the 2,208 people aboard, about 1,500 died in the icy waters. But 712 survived. The most famous of the survivors was Molly Brown, who lived another 20…

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Liberty or Death

On March 2, 1775, Patrick Henry spoke at St. John’s Church in Richmond, Virginia. He offered this famous line: “I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty or give me death.” We should all cherish liberty as much as Patrick Henry did. Slaves to our addictions, we have…

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Some

I recently came across a little verse in one of the least quoted books of the Bible. John, one of the early followers of Christ, was checking up on the development of new believers. Word came back to John. Notice his response to that report: “It has given me great joy to find some of…

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The First Toy on TV

Mr. Potato Head was invented by George Lerner in 1949, and distributed widely by Hasbro. The new children’s toy was an overnight success. And anything that is a success is worth talking about. Within three years, the world had met Mr. Potato Head. In 1952, it became the first toy advertised on national television. Anything…

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Change

What is recovery? The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) defines recovery as “a process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.” The American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) offers a slightly different definition. They write, “Recovery is an…

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Bad Way to Burn Calories

There are several ways to burn calories. Swim one hour and you’ll burn 250 calories. By riding a bike for an hour, you can burn another 600. Walking an hour will burn 300 more.  If that’s not enough, try beating your head against a wall. Seriously. If you strike your head against a wall for…

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Proverbs

Looking for a good laugh? Consider these nuggets of wisdom from the great Mark Twain. Better yet, let’s consider some even deeper truths from King Solomon. I love to read. Some of my favorite topics are history, theology, philosophy, politics, biographies, and sports. I enjoy the classics – the works of Tolstoy, Dickens, Twain, and…

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Addiction Cycle

If you want an in-depth description of the addiction cycle, read the works of men who are much smarter than me – such as Milton Magness and Patrick Carnes. If you are a simple man like me, the following description may make sense. As I look back over the decades in which I lived in…

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Preparation

Preparation is everything. Think of anything you’d like to accomplish: running a marathon, saving some money, losing 15 pounds, securing long-term sobriety. In each case, preparation is everything. Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four hours sharpening the axe.” If…

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Boanthropy

You can believe anything you want, but that doesn’t make it true. I can believe I’m an NBA superstar, but that belief will not get me a great jump shot. I can believe I’m a millionaire, but that won’t pay the bills.  Believing something and being something are two different things.  Did you know there…

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The Answer to Worry

Worry. It’s something we are all really good at. We all know how to worry and we all worry more than we should. The great Charlie Brown said it like this: “Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” As an addict,…

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Mr. Beast

I googled “Famous people born on May 7.” These are the 12 names that came up: Tommy Fury, J Balvin, Jacob Bongiovi, Julia Antonelli, Chad Tepper, Sarah Baska, Rico Nasty, Tahani Anderson, Blake Rivera, Michael Rosen, Chiara Ferragni, and Mr. Beast. (Yes, Mr. Beast.) I’ve heard of exactly one of them – Tommy Fury (boxer).…

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Why People Fail

Bestselling author Harvey Mackay has identified seven reasons that people fail in any endeavor. These hold true for recovery. I suggest you identify just one item from this list, which applies to your life and struggles. Correct this shortcoming, and you will see your recovery rise to an unprecedented level. Make the following passage of…

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The First Jenner

Before there was Bruce Jenner, Caitlyn Jenner, Kendall Jenner, or Kylie Jenner, there was a man named Edward Jenner. While Edward never made the cover of People magazine, never changed sexes, or did any of the other things that make today’s headlines, he did have one thing on his resume that is pretty impressive.  In…

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Others Will Hate

“Don’t be surprised if the world hates you” (1 John 3:13). Why did that verse have to be there? I mean, if we do everything right, we will be loved and celebrated by everyone in our path, right? Wrong. If you base your confidence, let alone your recovery, on the opinions of others, get ready…

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It Doesn’t Make Sense

Some things just don’t make sense. Let’s consider just a few examples. There is no egg in eggplant, no ham in hamburgers, and no pine or apple in pineapples. English muffins were not invented in England, and French fries were not invented in France. Quicksand takes you down slowly, and boxing rings are square. Vegetarians…

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Pursuing Passions

The biggest reason we get into trouble is that we don’t get into anything else first. In recovery, it is critical that we replace unhealthy passions with passions that are worthwhile. In his book, Facing the Shadows, Dr. Patrick Carnes writes, “Practice hobbies, sports, and activities you enjoy. Cultivate these parts of your life so…

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Jabez

Jabez was barely mentioned in the Bible. His story, along with his famous prayer, is found in 1 Chronicles 4:9-10. “Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, ‘I gave birth to him in pain.’ Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, ‘Oh, that you would bless me…

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Sliding Socks

There’s only one person who doesn’t have any hidden struggles. That is the person you haven’t met. Once you get to know them, you will discover they are just like everyone else. They have personal struggles that are not always obvious to the rest of us. Someone said, “I walk around like everything’s fine, but…

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Two Kinds of Worries

Duke Ellington said, “There are two kinds of worries – those you can do something about and those you can’t. Don’t spend any time on the latter.” I find myself reciting The Serenity Prayer more and more these days. It reminds me to separate the things I can do something about from those things over…

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Spectators and Athletes

Paul wrote to Timothy, “Train yourself to be godly. Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better” (1 Timothy 4:7-8). The word that is translated “training” referred specifically to the disciplined training done by gymnasts in Paul’s day. The commentators of The Recovery Bible add, “It is amazing what human beings can…

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Unfelt Presence

“You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you” (Psalm 9:10). Let that sink in.  In recovery, we must endure a lot of trials, temptations, and tests. We must deal with our past, pain, and persecution. We must move beyond our hurts, habits, and hang-ups. But there is one thing you never have to…

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How to Be Happy

You want to be happy. We all do. But how do we find happiness? Let’s consider the research. Studies show that happiness is not simply an outcome of success, but is an ingredient to create success. Dr. Sonja Lyuboirsky explains that a worthwhile life comes from happiness, not the other way around.  Harvard psychologist Jal…

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Know When to Run

“You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em Know when to fold ‘em Know when to walk away And when to run.”      – Kenny Rogers, The Gambler, 1976 That is the story of every addict. He must learn when to walk away and when to run.  Never was there a harder lesson for me to…

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No More Vows

Jonah was hardly an exemplary example of integrity and obedience. But once he had been disciplined by God, once he had paid for his poor decisions, he came to one life-changing commitment.  The young prophet declared, “I will fulfill my vows” (Jonah 2:9). One can question whether Jonah’s follow-through matched his intentions. At least for…

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The Problem with Lucy

When I want deep philosophical thought, I turn to . . . Charlie Brown. One day, Lucy looked at Charlie Brown and saw that he was depressed. She said, “Charlie Brown, the problem with you is that you are you.” Charlie responded, “Oh, and what can I do about that?” Lucy replied, “I’m not here…

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A Rope

A hiker was walking down a country road one day when he heard a voice in the distance. “Help me! Someone help me now!” As the hiker followed the direction of the voice, he eventually came upon a horrifying scene. A man had fallen into a sea of quicksand, and was flailing helplessly as he…

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How to Be Holy

“God chose us to be holy” (Ephesians 1:4). More than anything else, you were created for holiness. In order to live a life of holiness, you and I must disengage from unholiness. That means cutting ourselves off from the behaviors which Jesus personally identified as being contrary to the life we are called to live.…

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A Way Out

The resurrection is the hinge on which the door of the Gospel swings. Yale professor and theologian Jaroslav Pelikan said, “If Christ is risen, nothing else matters. And if Christ is not risen, nothing else matters.” Paul affirmed this sentiment: “If Christ be not risen, your faith is in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:14). If you…

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A Reporter’s Miracle

Christopher Heimerman is a writer for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. He checked all the boxes: But there was another side to Heimerman’s life. In his own words, “Hours after church, I was often funneling beer or whiskey in the quiet, dark corners of our house. Yet another domino tipped. Another week of drinking every day…

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Preoccupied

Most of us care about ourselves more than we care about anyone else. Carl Jung said it like this: “It is a sin to be too preoccupied with yourself.” That is how we stay in addiction. We are too preoccupied with ourselves, our own pleasures, and our own lusts. It is that preoccupation that leads…

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Taj Mahal

The Taj Mahal stands out from the plains of Agra in Northern India. It is a testimony to the love of Shah Jahan for his favorite wife. Built in the 17th century, it took 20,000 workers 16 years to build the world’s most elaborate edifice.  God expressed his love in a different way.  “This is…

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It’s Who You Are

A rabbit came upon a rattlesnake in the woods. The rattlesnake hissed, “I know what you are! You have big ears, a fluffy tail, and a wiggly nose. You’re a rabbit!” The rabbit responded to the rattlesnake, “I know what you are, too! You have beady eyes, a big mouth, a slick appearance, and diamonds…

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Their Own

“They confessed their own sins” (Nehemiah 9:2). That is the story of the Jewish exiles who returned to Jerusalem in the days of Ezra and Nehemiah. They were working Steps 4 and 5 before Steps 4 and 5 had even been written. Taking a personal inventory of their shortcomings, they then released them with repentant…

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Compassion

There is a great story in the New Testament about Jesus healing a man with leprosy (Mark 1:40-45). Notice how the story begins. “A man with leprosy came and knelt in front of Jesus, begging to be healed. ‘If you are willing, you can heal me and make me clean,’ he said. Moved with compassion,…

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The Man Who Invented Sliced Bread

“That’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.” We’ve all said that a zillion times. Sliced bread has become the measuring stick of all great inventions. But has it ever occurred to you that there really was a person who invented sliced bread? Meet Otto Rohwedder, of Davenport, Iowa. Working for Chillicothe Baking Company, Mr. Rohwedder…

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The Running God

Let’s play Bible Trivia. Can you name the only time in the Bible when God is shown running? Answer – Luke 15:20 “So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and…

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The Rising Corpse

Here are just a few strange, but true stories. A man went to a funeral, and he saw the deceased rise from the casket and stand in front of the church as the attendees entered. A woman returned home from work one day, only to find the sofa cushions arranged on the floor in the…

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Take a Bow

Martin Luther told the story of his professor who started every class the same way. He’d enter the room, hang up his coat, then bow before each student, one by one. Eventually, Luther managed the courage to ask the professor why he did this. The professor explained, “I bow before you in honor of what…

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No Gaps Remained

I’ve been reading through the Book of Nehemiah. It has long been one of my favorite books of the Bible. But yesterday, I came across a little verse that had escaped me until now. “Sanballat, Tobiah, Geshem the Arab, and the rest of our enemies found out that I had finished rebuilding the wall and…

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Samaria

Between one set of miracles and another, the Bible says, “Now Jesus had to go through Samaria” (John 4:14). And so he was on his way, from Judah to Galilee, passing through the land of Samaria – an unwelcome place. The Samaritans were considered half-breeds, as they were the offspring of Jews and Gentiles. They…

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Thy Will Be Done

Surrender is the central theme of recovery. Until you surrender your will to God’s, he cannot do for you what you have been unable to do for yourself. I love the way C.S. Lewis said it: “One of two things will happen to you. You will tell God, ‘Thy will be done.’ Or in the…

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Puddles

“Now John also was baptizing at Aenon near Salim, because there was plenty of water there” (John 3:23). I’m sure I’ve read that verse at least a hundred times. But it never hit me like it did today. For some reason, I never caught the impact of the last seven words: “because there was plenty…

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Lou Gehrig

Lou Gehrig was one of the greatest hitters in the history of baseball, and a true gentleman. He famously never argued with the umpires. That is why one particular game stood out. After taking a third strike, Gehrig turned to the home plate umpire and said something that no one else could hear. He then…

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Do You Feel Lucky?

“You’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, punk?”       – Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry (1971)  I’ve learned one overarching lesson from my years of recovery, study, and working with men in addiction. Lucky is not a plan. Let me explain. Too often, in our quest for recovery, we just…

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Duck!

On this date in history, 42 years ago, President Ronald Reagan nearly died in office. On March 30, 1981, less than three months into his first term, Reagan was shot by John Hinckley as he left a Washington hotel. A few days later, Reagan explained what he did wrong, with his typical sense of humor.…

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15,000 Times a Day

According to various research projects, we have 15,000 thoughts per day, 80 percent of which are negative and 95 percent are repetitive. Most of our thoughts are random, unintended, and trivial. A productive thought life does not come naturally. Henry Ford said, “Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so…

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The Best Timber

A hiker crossed paths with a farmer who was hiking up a mountain with an ax in his hand. The hiker asked the farmer why he had the ax, and the farmer answered, “I’m climbing the mountain with an ax to cut up some timber because I’m making a wagon.” The hiker replied, “But look…

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The Greatest Invention

In 1955, Eugene Polley changed the course of human history. That was the year when the 47-year employee of Zenith Electronics invented the TV remote control. That was just one of Polley’s 18 patents. But who cares about the other 17? The remote control has saved millions of lazy television viewers the hardship of getting…

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Muhammad Ali and UFOs

On March 31, 1973, Ken Norton defeated Muhammad Ali in decisive fashion, breaking his jaw in the second round. Their rematch came six months later, on September 10. But something bizarre happened three nights before their second fight. Both fighters made a joint appearance on The Tonight Show, with Johnny Carson. After Norton discussed the…

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Overcomers

On October 31, 1517, Martin Luther – an obscure Augustinian monk – nailed a document protesting the teachings and practices of the Church to the main door of Castle Church in Wittenberg. His actions sparked the flames of the Protestant Reformation. In 1939, Nicholas Winton – an ordinary 39-year-old stockbroker from London – managed to…

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Only in Texas

Before we begin, for the sake of transparency, let me say that I’m from Texas and will always consider myself a proud Texan. Maybe that’s why I can recognize the wisdom of these laws that are still on the books in Texas. For the first 55 years of my life, I lived in Texas. Today,…

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The Long Way Home

“The end of the matter is better than its beginning” (Ecclesiastes 7:8). The Book of Exodus gives us the account of God’s children making their way from Egypt to the Promised Land. Had they taken the most direct route, it would have been a 200-mile trek. But God led them on the long route, which…

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Why We Fall Short

Setting goals is not the problem. The problem is setting the right goals, and then sticking with them. Make no mistake. God wants you to set goals and he wants you to be successful. We read, “May God give you the desire of your heart and make your plans succeed” (Psalm 20:4).  So why do…

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The Secret Sauce

The secret sauce of recovery is community. You cannot find recovery without it. You were made for community. To try to stay sober on your own is to mock the God who said to “be perfectly united [with others] in mind and thought” (1 Corinthians 1:10). Daniel Siegel wrote, in Aware, “Relationships are not icing…

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Rest

“Some of you chaps should go home and take naps.”       – Dr. Seuss There are five primary triggers that make us want to act out. You can remember them with the acronym “B.L.A.S.T.” We tend to relapse when we are . . . Let’s talk about that last one – tired. One of the worst…

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Hang On to Your Harp

Psalm 137:2 “There on the willows we hung our harps.” The children of God had passed from the uttermost to the gutter most. Once proud inhabitants of the land that flowed with milk and honey, they were now enslaved in the land of Babylon. Their response was understandable: “By the rivers of Babylon we sat…

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Life Is Short

Life is short. Let me give you just a few examples. Why do I share these horrifying stories? Because I want to reinforce the fact that life is fragile and life is short. So what’s my point? My point is that each of us would be wise to measure the state of our sobriety, recovery,…

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Daily Thoughts

A 2020 study of 184 participants found that we have an average of 6,000 thoughts per day. Other studies take this number to 60,000 or 70,000. Another study found that 80 percent of our daily thoughts are negative. Our minds tend to run to the worst case scenario. We are consumed with thoughts about all…

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Four Voices

What you do tomorrow will be determined by the voice you listen to today. Patrick Morley, founder of Man in the Mirror, says that throughout each day, we listen to four voices: We can’t always cut off these voices, but we do get to choose which ones we will listen to and which ones we…

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The Pastor’s Massage

One Sunday, when the pastor was out of town, the church bulletin provided this announcement: “With Pastor Johnson out this week, please give his massages to his secretary.” One letter can mean everything. In case you didn’t catch that, there is a big difference between a message and a massage.  In English, one letter can…

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The $30 Million Mistake

On November 15, 2006, Abraham Lee Shakespeare stopped at the Town Star convenience store in Frostproof, Florida, to buy a soft drink. He had $5 to his name, and he spent $2 of that on a couple of lottery tickets. One of the tickets won big. Shakespeare became a millionaire – 30 times over. Two…

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The First Coke

On this date in 1894, Coca-Cola was bottled and sold for the first time, in Vicksburg, Mississippi, by local fountain owner Joseph Bieden. Today, 1.9 billion servings of Coca-Cola will be served in over 200 countries. Annual revenues total $38 billion. Since its first offering, several new renditions of Coke have been introduced: Diet Coke…

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Every Thought

A businessman came home from the office and collapsed on the living room couch, completely exhausted.  “What’s wrong?” asked his wife. “It was terrible,” said her husband. “All of our office computers went down today, so we had to do our own thinking.” I predate the laptop. I was raised back in the day when…

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The God Who Sees

“He said, ‘Hagar, Sarai’s maid, where have you come from and where are you going?’ Then she called on the name of the Lord who spoke to her, ‘You are a God who sees’” (Genesis 16:8, 13). You may remember this story. Hagar was pregnant. She had fled from her nemesis Sarai. But the Lord…

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Fish Climbing a Tree

Every person you know knows something that you don’t. So you have something to learn from everyone. And everyone has something to learn from you. That’s because we all have strengths and we all have weaknesses. Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by his ability to climb a…

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Lesson from the Shepherds

In 1966, the new Metropolitan Opera House opened in New York. It was one of the social events of the 20th century.  But imagine if the Board of the Metropolitan Opera had said, “For our opening night, with the greatest orchestra ever assembled, we’re going to invite homeless people, and as many down and out…

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Friends

Here are some things you need to know. You yawn the most after breakfast. You lose weight if you sleep in a cold room. You are the tallest thing in the morning. Sharp knives are safer than dull knives. People with friends live longer. Wait. Let’s go back to that last one. People with friends…

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Not Yet

In my world, people fall into one of two groups. They are either walking in purity and freedom or they want to be. Those who want to be may be holding onto old habits or embedded in unhealthy relationships. They want out, but they just aren’t ready yet. St. Augustine once quipped, “Lord, help me…

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#1 Key to Sobriety

I recently read an article titled, 40 Tips for Staying Sober Under Pressure. I’m sure you can google it. It’s right there, with other articles on the 11 Tips, 7 Tips, and 21 Tips articles.  But let’s cut to the chase. I will give you the #1 way to stay sober. It works every time. …

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“We All Fall Down!”

“Ring around the rosie A pocket full of posies Ashes! Ashes! We all fall down!”       – Kate Greenaway, 1881 Peter and Iona Opie, the leading authorities on nursery rhymes, suggest that the meaning of this timeless rhyme is tied to the Great Plague of 1665, in which millions “fell down.” “We all fall down” is…

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Knute Rockne

In 1931, Knute Rockne died in a plane crash at the age of 43. Having led Notre Dame’s football program for the last ten years, Rockne was recognized as America’s first great college coach. His lessons are still taught in locker rooms and on football fields today.  Here’s just one gem from the legendary coach:…

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First Pillar of Recovery

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) identifies four pillars of recovery: Let’s talk about the first one, which we probably focus on the least as addicts.  John wrote, “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health” (3 John 1:2). Self-care is absolutely…

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A Dark Day in History

For those of us living in the United States, this is a dark day in our nation’s history. On this date, February 25, 1913, Congress passed the 16th Amendment, which set the legal basis for the national income tax. No one enjoys tax day. Otherwise, they would pay more taxes than is required. But paying…

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Stay At Your Post

“And the lookout shouted, ‘Day after day, my lord, I stand on the watchtower; every night I stay at my post’” (Isaiah 21:8). In recovery, the prize goes to the man who stays at his post. It’s not about doing something spectacular. It’s not about being named “Recovery Man of the Year.” It’s about staying…

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Where Sobriety Begins

“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems.”      – Alcoholics Anonymous  “For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you’” (Isaiah 41:13). Recovery is a long road. The first step is always the same – acceptance. Step 1…

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Because He Lives

“Because I know He holds the future,  And life is worth the living,  Just because He lives.”      – Because He Lives        Bill Gaither Because He Lives was written by Bill and Gloria Gaither when they were expecting their first child in the late 1960s. They were going through a traumatic time, as Bill was recovering…

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Algebra

When I was a kid, I often explained my resistance to doing homework with a timeless refrain. “I will never need this in real life!” I appreciate social commentator Fran Lebowitz, who wryly observed, “In real life, there is no such thing as algebra.” Perhaps Solomon was thinking about algebra when he lamented, “It’s all…

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Nothing Is Possible

I heard someone say, “People say nothing is impossible. I disagree. I do nothing every day.” I have found that it is the people who do nothing that get into the most trouble. By not staying busy, they create a vacuum. And just about anything can fill an open vacuum. One of the five basic…

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Bad Driver

An unobservant driver made an illegal right turn onto another street. Exasperated, he turned to his young son in the passenger seat and said, “That was stupid! I just made an illegal right turn!” His son offered encouragement. “Aw, dad, it’s okay. The police car right behind us just did the same thing.” That boy…

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The Fence

There was a young boy who struggled with profanity. His father took him to a field across the street from their home, where there stood an old fence. He gave his son a box of nails and a hammer. “Every time you say a bad word, hammer a new nail into the fence,” he said. …

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Regrets

“Regrets, I’ve had a few. But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do, And saw it through without exemption.”       – Frank Sinatra, My Way Regrets – we’ve all had a few. Let’s talk about regrets. According to psychologist Tom Gilovich, there is a difference between short-term and long-term regrets.…

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God Really Does This?

God does a lot of things. He creates. He saves. He redeems. He forgives. He protects. He leads. He provides. He overcomes. He heals.  But there’s more. God does something else. The old prophet declared, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with…

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Overcoming Failure

Recovery is about more than stringing together several days of sobriety. Recovery is as much about overcoming failures as it is about creating success. I read an interesting article in Forbes (October, 2020), which addresses seven ways to overcome failure. One of the keys is profound: “Don’t be tempted to lower your ambitions.” In other…

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Four Inches

“According to the map, we’ve only gone four inches.”      – Jeff Daniels, Dumb and Dumber (1994) Have you ever felt that way? In my personal recovery, there have been so many times that I felt like, despite a lot of really good effort, I had only progressed four inches. But here’s the deal – recovery…

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Broken Records

There’s an old saying in sports – “Records are made to be broken.” Well, here are a few records that might never be broken: Paul was a champion of breaking records, of reaching heights never achieved before. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). Now, think “recovery.” What can you…

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Read It and Run

“Write the vision, make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it” (Habakkuk 2:2). That gem from the minor prophet has echoed through the chambers of time. Its message is timeless. Habakkuk is simply saying that once you get a clear vision of your destiny, you can sprint in the right direction…

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Addiction Test

Most of our readers are either sex addicts or are married to one. But some of you, while struggling with sexually compulsive activities, are not yet certain if you really qualify as an addict. Since there is no blood test for sexual addiction, a diagnosis will always include a level of subjectivity.  But for most…

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Funny Sports Injuries

My favorite sports are: American football, basketball, and baseball. In the first two of those sports, I’m amazed at the ability of athletes to play through injuries. With baseball, not so much. Here are just a few ways baseball players injured themselves badly enough to have to miss dozens of games. I think the lesson…

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Tag Teams

According to many professional wrestling experts, the greatest wrestling tag team of all time was The Road Warriors, known individually as Animal and Hawk. From 1983 to 2014, this ruthless tag team won dozens of titles, including the NWA World Championship three times.  Here’s how they did it. When Animal got into trouble, Hawk would…

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Step 1

Dr. David Deyhimy, Medical Director of The Edge Treatment Center, cites recent data on addiction. His findings include: Addiction is a pandemic on many levels. Your first job, if you are a sex addict, is to admit the magnitude of the problem. You must get honest and tell someone, “I have a problem, and I…

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Others First

Do you know the difference between major surgery and minor surgery? Major surgery is any surgery you must have; minor surgery is anyone else’s surgery.  Mel Brooks said, “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” It is human nature to think of our own…

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Take One Step

You must do three things to reach your goals: dream big, start small, and think long. You have to fly the kite a little higher, a little longer each day. Over time, the ceiling becomes the floor.  Emil Zatopek, the great Olympian, said, “Step by step, a man will come to the fifth floor.” Zatopek…

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Crazy Love

In 1959, Burt Pugach met Linda Riss, and it was love at first sight. But when Linda discovered that Burt was already married and had children, she ended the relationship. In retaliation, Burt paid three assailants to toss lye in Linda’s face, which nearly blinded her for life. Burt served 14 years in prison for…

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John Elway

On this day in history, 35 years ago, the great John Elway took his Denver Broncos to the Super Bowl, only to lose to the Washington Redskins, 42-10. For many, such a blowout would have been devastating.  But another January 31 would eventually come around, 11 years later, when Elway would redeem himself, leading the…

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Simple Advice

A friend suffered a recent relapse. “What do I do now?” he asked me. My simple answer was, “Do the next right thing.” Where we get off the rails in recovery is by making things too complicated. We don’t relapse because we don’t know what to do, but because we don’t do what we know. …

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B.L.A.S.T.

Every so often, it is wise to review our five primary triggers for acting out. You can remember them with the acronym B.L.A.S.T. We tend to be at greatest risk for relapse when we are: Bored Lonely Angry Stressed  Tired Don’t let your triggers stop you. The temptations and roadblocks to recovery can seem overwhelming.…

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The Challenger Explosion

It happened on this date in 1986. I remember it well. On January 28, 1986, the U.S. space shuttle Challenger exploded 73 seconds after liftoff from Florida, killing all seven aboard, including a school teacher who had been selected as the first American civilian to travel in space.  That was a devastating day for America,…

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Underwater Somersaults

Underwater somersaulting is not yet an official Olympic sport. But that never stopped Marta Fernandez Perez from setting a world record in 2001, when she completed 28 backward somersaults underwater – on one breath.  How did Marta come to be the queen of underwater somersaults? I’m not sure, but I’m going to guess that she…

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The Road Less Taken

I love these words, from Louis Armstrong’s famous song, What a Wonderful World. “I hear babies cry, I watch them grow, They’ll learn much more, Than I’ll ever know. And I think to myself, What a wonderful world.” The psalmist wrote, “What a wildly wonderful world, God! You made it all, with wisdom at your…

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Recovery Rewards

What role do rewards play in recovery? Dr. John F. Kelly addresses this in his article, Recovery from Addiction. He writes, “It is now well known that the repetition of rewarding behaviors produces changes in brain function and structure that facilitate habits and, for some, sustained compulsivity and addiction.” Dr. Kelly is saying that one…

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Two Bad Jokes

What did they do with the two guys who were caught stealing a calendar? They each got six months. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. Okay. I’ll stop.  There is one thing worse than a bad joke. Two bad jokes. Is anything worse than two bad jokes? Yes –…

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Bigger Boats

“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”      – Jaws, 1975 Actor Rob Scheider played Brody in the movie. Citing the great shark, and contemplating what it would take to bring him in, he said, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.” This famous movie line has become an appropriate metaphor for life. Many times, our biggest problem…

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The Great Motivator

In his fascinating book, Exactly What to Say, Phil M. Jones writes, “The real world tells us that people will work far harder to avoid a potential loss than they will to achieve a potential gain.” This is exactly why most addicts don’t seek help until they hit bottom. Their greater motivator is not the…

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Practice

After retiring from coaching, John Wooden was asked what he missed most. I’ll give you a hint: it wasn’t the games, trophies, or championships. In a word, Wooden said what he missed most was practice. As a chaplain for the Houston Rockets, I often sat on the sideline watching the players go through their pregame…

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Dr. Denton Cooley

In 1969, Dr. Denton Cooley performed the world’s first successful heart transplant. His iconic career was marked by unmatched recognition over five decades of groundbreaking work. As an aside, he performed heart surgery on my Dad, saving his life in 1960.  Dr. Cooley was not shy about his success. Once appearing as an expert witness…

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Just Whistle

A writer named David Redding told of his days growing up on a farm in Scotland. As a young boy, he was given a beautiful black puppy, which he named Teddy. Redding and Teddy were inseparable. When Redding had to go off to war, he was unable to return for more than two years. But…

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My First Prayer

“God is good, God is great, let us thank him for our food. Amen.” That was my first prayer. My family was not very religious, but we did pray before every meal. And that was our daily prayer. My brother and I took turns, day to day. But the prayer never changed. After I came…

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Mistakes vs Potential

Regrets. Let’s talk regrets. Psychologist Tom Gilovich says there is a difference between short-term and long-term regret. In the short term, we tend to regret the mistakes we’ve made. But in the long term? We regret the opportunities we’ve missed more than the mistakes we’ve made by a margin of 84 percent to 16 percent.…

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Good Works

I’m all about grace. We are saved by grace. We find recovery by grace. We must live by grace. To others, we must extend grace. So where do works come into the picture?  Martin Luther provides the perfect answer: “God does not need your good works, but your neighbor does.” Jesus said our faith would…

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Terry Bradshaw

Hall-of-Fame coach Chuck Knoll won 68 percent of his NFL games – with Terry Bradshaw as his quarterback. When anyone else played quarterback, Knoll only won 47 percent of his games. With Tom Brady at quarterback, Bill Belichick won 77 percent of the time; with other quarterbacks, just 48 percent. And Marv Levy won 66…

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Routine

One of the keys to making good habits is to establish good routines. But once the routine becomes routine, you have to change it. This is known as the law of requisite variety. For example, if you always work out the same way, your workout will eventually lose its effectiveness, as your body adapts to…

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My Ultimate Consolation

Let’s turn to R.C. Sproul for some great insight today. He wrote, “To know that God knows everything about me and yet loves me is indeed my ultimate consolation.” God knows you intimately and loves you fully. Until you understand that, recovery will be a mirage, something you long for but cannot touch. God promises,…

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Five Grains of Gratitude

When the Pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620, they were faced with harsh conditions. When they became desperate for food, Governor William Bradford rationed five grains of corn per day for each person. When things got better, Bradford did not want the people to forget what they had gone through, so at every Thanksgiving…

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Turning a Blind Eye

President Teddy Roosevelt set up a boxing ring in the White House, where he would spar with anyone brave enough to get into the ring. One of his aides, Dan Tyler Moore, actually blinded the president’s left eye with a right hook. Roosevelt concealed the fact that he had lost his sight in order to…

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2023 Weather Forecast

“I beg your pardon. I never promised you a rose garden. Along with the sunshine, There’s gotta be a little rain sometime.”       – Lynn Anderson, 1970 I have looked up the weather forecast for your area, for all of 2023. Here it is – there’s gotta be a little rain sometime.  Rain gets a bad…

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Connecting the Dots

God has given us three kinds of sight; we need all three. Let’s talk about that last one – hindsight. Sometimes our past is our best teacher. During his commencement address at Stanford University, Steve Jobs said, “You can only connect the dots by looking backward.” The Bible encourages us, “Remember the days of old,…

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Problems

Are you a problem solver? While that can be a good thing, it comes with a downside.   Reflecting on his work as a psychiatrist, Carl Jung discovered a fascinating truth about seemingly insurmountable problems. They can’t be solved. They can only be outgrown. We all have problems that cannot be solved. For me that includes…

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Lesson from Albert

I’m not a student of Albert Einstein, nor do I have evidence that he battled addictions. But he said something that every addict should embrace. It is one of the most important principles in recovery from any addiction or destructive habit. “A problem cannot be solved,” said Einstein, “from the same level of consciousness that…

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Tree Bark

In 2009, a dendrologist named Dr. Martin Gossner was researching the resilience of tree bark. When he cut back a piece of bark on an old tree in the Bavarian Forest National Park, he was stunned by his discovery of the living organisms behind that piece of bark: The tree, Dr. Gossner concluded, had become…

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Halloween

David Letterman said, “Halloween is the beginning of the holiday shopping season. That’s for women. The beginning of the shopping season for men is Christmas Eve.”  Here’s the bigger lesson. Men and women are different. In fact, I’ll go even further. Ready for this? Men and men are different. Women and women are different. You…

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Talk to Him

A pastor opened his mail one day. Inside one envelope was a sheet of paper with just one word written on it – “FOOL.”  The next Sunday, the pastor took that sheet into the pulpit. He announced, “I have received a few letters over the years, in which the writer forgot to sign his name.”…

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The Greatest Boxer

On September 2, 1892, a boxer named Gentleman Jim Corbett stepped into the ring with arguably the greatest boxer who would ever live, John L. Sullivan. Sullivan was the last heavyweight champion of the bare-knuckle era and the first champion who wore gloves. In fifty fights, he had never lost.  This night would be different.…

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Christmas Parrot

Three men all gave their elderly mother special gifts for Christmas – a new Mercedes, a new house, and a talking parrot. A week later, they returned for a visit, and asked how she enjoyed their gifts. To the first she said, “Thank you so much for my car. I love it!” To the second…

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A Boat

An elderly pastor was once asked, “If you were stranded on an island and could have one book with you, which book would you choose?” Of course, the expected answer was, “The Bible.” But the pastor said, without hesitation, “If I was stranded on an island and could have just one book, I’d choose a…

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NBA Legend

Sixty-four years ago this week, a young basketball player made his NBA debut. In his first game, he scored a rather unimpressive six points. But he kept at it. Over his NBA career, Bill Russell would win more championships than any player before him. In fact, the NBA Finals MVP Award is named in his…

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Talking Frog

A man was playing golf when he hit his ball into the woods. Retrieving his ball, he discovered a talking frog sitting nearby. The frog said, “I am no ordinary frog. If you kiss me, I will become a beautiful woman, marry you, and make you happy for the rest of your life.” The golfer…

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Three Phases

French philosopher Paul Ricoeur viewed life as a series of three movements. First, there is orientation, when we feel at home and at peace. Then we go through a period of disorientation, when a life-changing event occurs, a catastrophe strikes and we feel disillusioned. Finally, there is a transition to reorientation, or the “new normal.”…

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Edgar Bergen

Edgar Bergen is widely considered the greatest ventriloquist who ever lived. How did he develop his interest in throwing his voice? As a boy, he ordered a book on photography, but received a book on ventriloquism instead. Naturally, he was disappointed. But it was this mix-up that changed everything! Every successful person I know has…

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Too Soon to Quit

In recovery, the measure of success is not whether you ever have a slip or relapse, but how you respond. Don’t misunderstand me; you should never have another slip or relapse! But if you keep this verse close by: “The righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity”…

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Two-Foot Road Trip

Are you completely satisfied with where you are with your life and recovery? If not, check out this formula for healthy change: Change of pace + change of place = change of perspective.  Perhaps you need a good road trip. The next time you take off across the country on a journey to find yourself,…

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9,096 Stars

Astronomers tell us that there are 9,096 stars that are visible to the naked eye. So go ahead. Tonight, step outside and start counting those stars. Then embark on an even greater project. Count every star in the Milky Way Galaxy. But you better start soon, because if you count one star every second, it…

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Two Inches

In the summer of 1957, 12-year-old Ed Catmull was on a cross-country trip with his family, driving on a crooked canyon road with no guardrails. A car driving in the opposite direction zigged into their lane, and Catmull’s dad zagged in the opposite direction. Their car came two inches from driving off the cliff. That’s…

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Continue

Continue. That may be the most important word in recovery – continue. Have you been attending support groups? Continue. Have you been in therapy? Continue. Have you started working the Steps? Continue. What matters is not what you began, but what you continue. The great apostle never bragged on the start of his journey. It…

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Climbing Trees

In December, 1874, a snowstorm hit the western United States. John Muire, a founder of the Sierra Club, left his friend’s cabin in the Sierra Nevadas to climb a 100-foot tree from which he would experience the full force of the storm.  Muir made a habit of doing things that took him to the edge…

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Orange

Legacy matters – a lot. Start with your kids. If you want to have a legacy to be proud of, pour your life into your children. Walk in recovery, do the next right thing, and keep your kids front and center on your list of priorities. Reggie Joiner is the founder of a wonderful organization…

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The Seeds of Recovery

The goal of recovery is to do the right thing, then let the results follow. Focus on recovery work, not recovery. If you do that – go to meetings, work the Steps, remain accountable – solid recovery will be the inevitable result.  The Bible calls this “sowing seeds.” Solomon said, “Sow your seed in the…

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The Light

You can turn your darkness into light. In fact, you’ve got to turn your darkness into light! Aristotle said, “It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” In his brilliant book, Survival, pastor Ben Young identifies five typical tactics of what he calls the shadow voice: fear, self-pity, self-indulgence,…

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Hope Is Not a Plan

All recovery is spiritual. J.I. Packer said, “Disregard the study of God, and you sentence yourself to stumble and blunder through life blindfolded.” Every day, I do two readings: something in recovery and something from the Bible. If I have to pick one, I choose the Bible. Why? Because every time I draw near to…

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Life on Mars

If you walked into the SpaceX headquarters, you would see two posters of Mars hanging on the wall. One shows a cold, barren planet. The Mars on the other poster looks a lot like Earth. That second poster represents Elon Musk’s life purpose – colonizing Mars. Musk says, “I’d like to die on Mars, not…

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Holy

The most holy place you will ever be is in the presence of God, wherever you find that.  The old prophet said of the Lord, “He will be a holy place” (Isaiah 8:14).  The Hebrew root word for “holy” is qadosh; the Greek word is hagios. Both words, form the Old and New Testaments, mean…

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Take It to the Bank

You can take God’s promises to the bank.  Imagine that I gave you a check for a thousand dollars. Would you withhold your thanks until the check cleared the bank? No, you would express gratitude right away, assuming the check wouldn’t bounce, based on what you know about my character. God’s promises are better than…

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Five Friends

Nothing matters more than the people you choose to spend time with. Author Jim Rohn said that we become the average of the five people we spend the most time with. Solomon concluded, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Proverbs 13:20). There are certain people you…

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Listen to Epictetus

Epictetus said, “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”  Life must be lived in the moment. Every day, you will face challenges that can make or break you. British theologian John Blanchard nailed it: “For daily needs, there’s daily grace. For sudden needs, there’s sudden grace.…

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One Oreo

It’s harder to eat one Oreo than none. Is there something you need to say no to? In many instances, abstinence is easier than moderation. Why? It requires less willpower because you rely on a strong decision making process in advance. Moderation is a slippery slope. In my experience, it’s harder to eat one Oreo…

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Small Stones

If you want to be sober for the next year, stay sober for the next day.  How did God do his work in the Old Testament? When the Israelites were fighting for their very lives, staving off the enemy, God stepped in. They did all they could, then God did what only he could do.…

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96 Times a Day

The opposite of addiction is community. And today, that’s a problem, because most people aren’t too good at personal connection. Case in point: the average person checks his phone 96 times a day. There is nothing more annoying than sitting with someone, trying to hold a meaningful conversation, while they keep checking their phone.  The…

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Jim Carrey

Award-winning actor Jim Carrey once wrote himself a check for $10 million – when he had nothing.  Early in his acting career, when no one else believed in Carrey, he believed in himself. So one day, he wrote a check to himself in the amount of $10 million, postdated five years. He was telling himself,…

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Listen to Moody

As a young pastor, I read everything I could find about the great evangelist of the 19th century, D.L. Moody. I was once blessed to touch the pulpit he used in Chicago. To me, that was like touching the bat Babe Ruth used to hit his last home run. In Moody’s biography, I read an…

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3M

Recovery is the result of good habits, done over and over and over and over. Aristotle said, “Quality is not an act; it is a habit.” And Will Durant added, “We are what we repeatedly do.” Let me give you a simple formula for establishing new habits, which are key to your long-term sobriety. Think…

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Three Questions

Humility is a key to success, in recovery or anything else. Malcolm Gladwell said it well: “We are better people when we are humble.” What is humility? Jordan Peterson defines humility as the “recognition of personal insufficiency and the willingness to learn.” I ask you three questions: Are you still willing to learn? Do you…

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Whisper

Never underestimate the loudness of a whisper. C.S. Lewis wrote, “It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that…

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Grace

Let me introduce you to grace. Author Gerald May wrote about grace. “Grace is the most powerful force in the universe. It can transcend repression, addiction, and every other internal and external power that seeks to oppress the freedom of the human heart. Grace is where our hope lies.” There are two things you need…

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Icky

Sometimes, we assume that for people who become great success stories, life must have come easily. Not so. Take former President Dwight Eisenhower, for example. In late December, 1920, when he was 30 years of age, his son Icky fell seriously ill with scarlet fever. With no antibiotics, little could be done. The young boy…

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Breaking the Shackles

In order to break the shackles of addiction, you must first break the shackles of shame. This is only possible for the man or woman who is sensitive to the work of the Holy Spirit, for we know that “the unrighteous know no shame” (Zephaniah 3:5).  Jesus described the specific work of the Holy Spirit:…

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Better than Google

A close friend recently sent me a picture of a t-shirt, which read, “I don’t need Google. My wife knows everything.” While we can debate the validity of this assumption, one thing seems clear. Women do seem to possess a keen sense of discernment when it comes to their husbands’ behaviors.  My wife has the…

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Dichotomy of Life

Let’s talk about the dichotomy of life. Martin Luther said, “A Christian is someone who is simultaneously righteous, yet sinful.” In The Disciplines of Grace, Jerry Bridges wrote, “Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days are never so good that you are…

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One Eye Toward Sodom

“Lot pitched his tent near Sodom” (Genesis 13:13). Here’s the story. Abraham’s family had outgrown the land in which they lived. Abraham had no choice. The family would need to be divided geographically. He offered his nephew Lot several options as to where he would settle with his part of the family.  While Lot would…

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Choose Joy

Let’s talk about joy. Jesuit priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin said, “Joy is the surest sign of the presence of God.” I agree. God is the author of joy. Even for the addict and the offended spouse, joy is an option. Paul knew a little about persecution and injustices when he prayed, “May the God…

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God’s Image

An overcoming feeling of insignificance and isolation cripples too many of us. Spiritual formations teacher Richard Foster writes, “The most wonderful thing that can happen to any human being is to be loved.”  Our value is not measured by the depth of our addiction, but by the depth of God’s love. And that love is…

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Absolutes

Twenty years after his graduation, a man visited his old college science professor. Looking over the tests the prof was grading, he observed, “This is the same test you gave us twenty years ago! How do you keep students from cheating? What if someone who had just taken the test a year ago gave the…

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Talk Less, Do More

I like to talk. Most of us do. That’s why I found this Old Testament verse rather troubling at first: “The more words, the less the meaning” (Ecclesiastes 6:11). And this one from the New Testament: “My beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19). My…

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Lying Politicians

A busload of politicians was driving down a country road when it ran off the road and hit a tree in an old farmer’s field. After viewing the tragedy up close, the old farmer was moved to give the politicians a respectful burial.  The farmer then went to visit the local sheriff to report the…

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Election Day

For those of you living in the United States, today is election day. Millions of us will go to the polls and make a decision as to who should be our next senator, mayor, or dogcatcher. These decisions matter. There are other decisions that matter. Let me give you my top ten list of great…

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How to Quit an Addiction

An article by the Harvard Medical School identifies five action steps for quitting an addiction. One of those steps is to create a support network.  They write, “Talk to your family and friends and ask for their encouragement and support. Let them know you are quitting.” Helen Keller said, “Alone we can do so little;…

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Before You Die

God allowed Moses to climb a historic mountain, where he did historic things.  Then God told Moses, “On the mountain you have climbed you will die” (Deuteronomy 32:50). We all like the “mountain” thing. But then we die? I offer three thoughts. We will all die sometime. It is better to die on the mountain…

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The Perfect Step

“We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.”        – Step 1, Alcoholics Anonymous Recovery begins where control ends. We must accept the fact that we have a problem. Marsha Linehan said it well. “Radical acceptance rests on letting go of the illusion of control and a willingness to notice…

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The Decades of Life

I have this theory that we are all getting older. And with age comes change. For the sake of oversimplification, I’ll assign each decade of life a one-word description. These words describe most people at each stage of life. These are our priorities as we mature. 20s – survival 30s – success 40s – significance…

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Vending Machine

Life is like a vending machine. A vending machine gives you what you want when you want it. No waiting. Lots of choices. None of them are healthy. The better alternative, of course, is a well-cooked, nutritionally balanced meal.  Too often, we choose the vending machine. It’s much easier. Recovery is done in a crock…

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All Things Beautiful

One Sunday in church, while I was thumbing through my Bible during the pastor’s sermon, I came across this amazing verse: “He has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). Let that sink in. This doesn’t say everything is inherently beautiful. It says God takes something ugly and turns it into something beautiful. Something…

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Before Anything Else

Before my feet hit the ground each morning, I pray this: “Dear God, it’s another day. And if I don’t get anything else done today, I want to know you a little bit better and love you a little bit more.” God’s greatest command is simple. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart…

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Esther

The Old Testament tells the story of Esther, a Hebrew woman who became queen and rescued her people. She had three assets that God gave her to fulfill her destiny. She was intelligent, physically attractive, and had an engaging personality. Because of these qualities, “Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her. She won…

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Hardship

If you’ve been in recovery for more than 30 seconds, you are familiar with The Serenity Prayer, written by Reinhold Niebuhr. You know the first part of the prayer by memory. But the second part of the prayer is equally impactful.  “Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship…

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Incubator

On September 7, 1888, Edith Eleanor Mclean was the first baby to be placed in an incubator. Developed by French obstetrician Stephane Tarnier, this was the first attempt to preserve the life of a premature baby. Though very costly at the time, the new invention was quickly embraced, out of respect for the lives of…

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Do This Three Times Today

Mark Twain said, “I can live two weeks on a good compliment.”  I read somewhere that the average person needs to hear 14 statements of personal encouragement each day. Rarely does that actually happen.  Wise old Solomon understood the human experience well when he said, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and…

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Definition of Recovery

Let me define successful recovery with three words. Keep. Moving. Forward. God says this about his children: “I will not remember their sins” (Isaiah 43:25). Do what God does. Move on from your past. Why? Because you can’t write the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.  Martin Luther King,…

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Systems Restore

When Microsoft launched Windows ME (Millennial Edition), the “system restore” feature caused a stir. If your computer suffered a system meltdown, you could select “system restore” and reset your computer to a point in the past. Problem solved. Everything you had somehow messed up on your computer returned to the way it was at that…

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It Starts Here

Your biggest sex organ is your brain. The road to your next relapse begins in your head. Forget about controlling your body until you learn to control your mind. It’s their thought lives that get sex addicts into trouble.  Ralph Waldo Emerson described the process brilliantly. “Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow…

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Rebuild

About 750 years before Christ, there was a man named Amos, who was a full-time fig grower and part-time preacher. Though he was from Judah, God led him to prophecy to the people of Israel, who were living in bondage to a foreign empire. He brought them this message directly from God: “I will bring…

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Dark Clouds

“The Lord will dwell in a dark cloud.”        – 2 Chronicles 6:1 This passage had great meaning for C.S. Lewis. Lewis had tasted pain in ways that few of us can comprehend. He lost his mother at an early age, was emotionally abandoned by his father, suffered from a respiratory illness as a teenager, was…

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Changed But Still You

God wants to transform your life, from addict to overcomer. But in the process, your uniqueness and personality are likely not on the table. God created you with a uniqueness that did not go away because of your addiction.  Rick Warren writes, “Christlikeness is all about transforming your character, not your personality.” The Bible says…

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Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

See if you can match the TV lines to their respective shows: The famous lines: “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.” “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday night!” “Survey says!” The television shows: Saturday Night Live Family Feud The Brady Bunch Okay, for those of you in the U.S., that was pretty easy. Now, let’s try a much…

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Apple Pie

Have you ever said, “It’s as American as apple pie”? Well, I have some shocking news for you. Apple pie isn’t actually American. Apples are native to Asia, and the first recorded recipe for apple pie was written in England.  Here’s something else you may not know. You have all you need to stay sober…

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The Surprising Key to Sobriety

This may be the most surprising key to sobriety – family dinners. A study by Columbia University found that the power of communication and role-modeling during family dinner is hard to overstate. The study concluded that teens whose families dine together are four times less likely to smoke, 2.5 times less likely to use marijuana,…

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Royal Flush

The next time you play Poker, know the odds. The odds of drawing a royal flush are one in 649,740. The odds of a straight flush are better, at one in 72,192.  In cards, there is a chance you will find incredible success. But those odds are small. If you want to try your hand…

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Why Me?

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon tennis champion, was dying of AIDS, which he contracted when he received infected blood during heart surgery in 1983. During his illness, Ashe received thousands of encouraging letters. In one letter, the fan asked, “Why did God have to select you for such a horrible disease?” Ashe wrote back. “Fifty…

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The Final Word

The enemy may attack, but he will not win. Failure may come, but it is not final. Addiction may cripple, but it will not kill. And life may stink, but the smell is not permanent.  Remember that guy in the Old Testament named Joseph? He was a good guy with some bad brothers. After years…

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How to Get Over It

On a recent trip to Texas, we visited our favorite mall in Waco. It is full of interesting collectibles and gadgets. One of the shops was full of refrigerator magnets. Now, I’m not really a refrigerator magnet guy, but I can appreciate the work that goes into thinking up cute things to write on said…

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Win the Morning

Admiral William McRaven wrote a bestselling book, Make Your Bed, in which he identified numerous implications of one positive action taken each morning.  Success coach Tim Ferris said, “If you win the morning, you win the day.” And the psalmist prayed, “Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love” (Psalm 143:8). Morning is…

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It’s How You Finish

Ever heard of Sad Sam Jones, Pud Galvin, and Kid Nichols? Perhaps the names Tom3 Seaver, Nolan Ryan, and Roger Clemens are more familiar to you. All six were great Major League pitchers. All six are in the Hall of Fame. The three modern players (Seaver, Ryan, and Clemens) combined to throw an amazing 771…

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Reality

Everyone loves a positive person. But if you are thinking about plopping down $100 to attend a seminar on success, let me save you that $100. The speaker will tell you to expect good things, keep your chin high, and to only see the sunshine, and never the rain. A positive spirit goes a long…

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Chess Boxing

I play chess. My son boxes. In fact, he boxes better than I play chess. In Finland, you can do both – at the same time. It’s called “chess boxing.” Players make a few chess moves, then engage in a round of boxing. They keep alternating between chess and boxing until 11 alternating rounds have…

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Ya Gotta Believe

President Theodore Roosevelt said, “Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” Maintaining a positive spirit is key to success in any field. Especially recovery. Never let the failure of yesterday dictate the outcome of tomorrow. Max Lucado said, “Meet your fears with faith.” And Jesus said, “Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers…

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Name This Guy

Can you name this person?  Born in Mississippi, he was raised in rooming houses. He wanted to be a musician, but never had any kind of formal musical training. When he tried out for choir in the eighth grade, his music teacher gave him a “C.” Undeterred, he bought his first guitar the next day.…

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Vindication

You’ve been hurt or falsely accused. You long for vindication. I get it. I’ve been there.  Oswald Chambers wrote, “Our weakness lies in always wanting to vindicate ourselves.” Writing for Psychology Today, Dr. Lori Katz addresses this subject head-on. She cites the key to peace: “You must disengage from the entire drama of pain.” Seeking…

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Something to Celebrate

Jesus told a story about two debtors who each owed the same man some money. In today’s terms, one of them owed about $5,000, while the other owed $75,000. Both men had their debt forgiven. Jesus asked his audience this question: “Which one will love the lender more?” (Luke 7:42). The answer was, of course,…

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This Day in History

A lot of big things have happened on this day in history – September 18. Cornerstone is laid for the U.S. Capitol Building (1793) Creation of the phonograph (1877) CBS debuted (1952) Roger Clemens struck out 20 batters (1996) But the most significant September 18 event came in 1964. It was on this day, 58…

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The Power of Forgiveness

The power of forgiveness is well-documented.  Johns Hopkins Medicine conducted studies that conclude that our health is greatly impacted by our willingness to forgive those who have harmed us. Their findings: “Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels…

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The Real Abundant Life

God wants you to experience joy, abundant life, and outrageous blessings. But what does that look like, exactly? Jesus warned, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in an abundance of his possessions” (Luke 12:15). Rick Warren said it so well in The Purpose Driven…

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Group

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one. I hope someday you’ll join us. And the world will live as one.”       – John Lennon God never intended us to do life alone. This thing called “connection” is magic. You can’t find recovery without it. Isolation is not your friend. Community is…

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NFL Is Back!

In the U.S., football is underway. Each year, 18 million of us crowd into stadiums to watch our favorite teams play. Another 100 million watch on television. And every one of us is convinced we could call plays better than the coaches for our team.  Legendary coach Bud Wilkinson once mused, “Each Saturday, our college…

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Get Ready!

Jesus is coming again. He said, “You must be ready, because the Son of Man will come in an hour when you do not expect him” (Luke 12:40). Are you ready for Christ’s return? David Jeremiah offers four ways to get ready. Live with passion and patience. Reflect Christ’s example of servanthood. Revere Christ’s honor…

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Regrets

Regrets. We all have them. I regret not getting into recovery sooner. That’s just one regret. But what is life’s greatest regret? Research shows that regrets fall into two broad categories: Action – We regret things we’ve done. Inaction – We regret things we haven’t done. An extensive study by Roese & Summerville (2005) found…

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Livin’ Near the Beach

We live in Bradenton, Florida, six miles from the beach. Green water. White sand. Seagulls overhead.  In a word – paradise. So I completely understand why people are flooding into Florida. What I don’t understand is why people move here, within a 15-drive of the ocean, but then never go to the beach. That would…

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Vodka and the Holy Spirit

“Trust me, you can dance.”       – Vodka Alcohol has that effect on people. With a few drinks, the alcohol takes over, and you become someone different.  That explains Ephesians 5:18. Paul wrote, “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Why did Paul draw a correlation…

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Bell Ringer

A man with no arms was in need of a job. He walked into a large Catholic parish and inquired of the priest, “Do you have any jobs for me?”  The priest answered, “Only one. We need someone to ring the bell in the tower. If you are able to climb to the top and…

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Laugh A Lot

Noted philosopher Reba McEntire offers this sage observation: “To thrive in life you need three bones – a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” Let’s focus on that last one – the funny bone. Laughter is a gift from God. The Bible says a lot about laughter. My favorite laughter verse is Proverbs 17:22,…

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Two Success Stories

It is great to have one significant success story in anyone’s life. But two?  Meet Garrett A. Morgan. The son of former slaves, Morgan conceived and patented the three-signal traffic light in 1923. He had witnessed a tragic automobile accident on a Cleveland street corner, and could not rest until he had done his part…

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Hot Dog Eating Champion

It happens every year. On July 4, in New York City, hundreds gather for the International Hot Dog Eating Contest. This year, Joey “Jaws” Chestnut retained his championship by eating 63 hot dogs in ten minutes. Let’s break that down. That’s one hot dog every ten seconds. That’s 18,270 calories. It was actually a smart…

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It’s Not About Sex

Here’s your question for today. Is sexual addiction a result of: Overactive libido Spouse’s sexual disinterest Cultural permissiveness None of the above The answer, of course, is none of the above.  Sexual addiction specialist Todd Frye writes, “Sexual addiction is not about sex. Sexual addiction is more of an intimacy disorder than a sex disorder.”…

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Divorce or Not?

Rod Stewart said, “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.” We live in the golden age of divorce. One of the key contributors of marital disharmony is sexual addiction. Psychologist Revel Miller has identified several impacts of infidelity. They include: Shock Anger Shattered…

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Do Twinkies Last Forever?

Twinkies last forever. I know that because I read it on the Internet.  Actually, it’s not true. Twinkies have a shelf life of just 25 days. Shockingly, you can’t believe everything you read on the Internet.  I browsed the Internet for recent news stories. I read about a lady’s funeral. Before the service, she left…

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The Power of Solitude

Solitude is a key ingredient to sobriety. If you don’t believe that, let me ask you a question. If you could pick one place to spend a few hours, would you pick: (a) mountain, (b) lake, (c) ocean, or (d) downtown in a large city? If you picked (d), you’re crazy! Jesus embraced solitude. The…

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A Lesson in Forgiveness

In 1956, five American missionaries headed to the rainforest of the eastern Amazon in Ecuador to make a second visit to the isolated Huaorani tribe. The people had a culture of killing, and studies suggest that 54 percent of the tribe died by homicide. When the missionaries emerged from their plane, they were immediately speared…

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Katrina

On this date in 2005, Hurricane Katrina made landfall on the Florida coast. Yes, the Florida coast. It was a weak Category 1 hurricane. No big deal by Florida standards. What no one knew at the time was that Katrina was just getting started. Within a few short days, she blew up into a rare…

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Criticism

Jack Handley said, “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” I have often found that what we criticize in others, we generally find in ourselves. Oscar Wilde said it like this: “Criticism…

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M&Ms

On the eighth day, God created M&Ms.  Okay, that may be a bit of a stretch. But M&Ms are almost too good to have been created by man. Do you know why they are called M&Ms? The creators named their candy after themselves: Forrest Mars and Bruce Murrie. Mars was a wealthy businessman who created…

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Making Progress

Pablo Casals was considered the greatest cellist who ever lived. When he was 95 years of age, someone asked him why he continued to practice his cello six hours every day. His response? “Because I think I am making progress.” I have a friend who got sober – at the age of 93.  It is…

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When Cleveland Was 5th

Things change with time. For example, did you know that the fifth largest city in the United States, 100 years ago, was Cleveland, Ohio? Today, Cleveland ranks as America’s 54th largest city. Cleveland is now smaller than Wichita, Aurora, Tulsa, Omaha, and Mesa.  Everything changes with time. With age, most of us get shorter and…

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An Impossible Task

If you want to try something that is nearly impossible, try this. Try to overstate the importance of community.  Good luck with that.  Therapist Elizabeth Dixon writes, “Our relationships, more than anything else, set the stage for our health, happiness, and well-being. Research indicates that the quality of our social relationships affects a range of…

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Self-Worth vs Net Worth

Never judge your self-worth by your net worth.  Men tend to draw their self-esteem from their jobs, women from their relationships. So this whole net worth thing is mostly (but not totally) a guy problem. It’s okay to have things and it’s okay to enjoy them. But don’t be so tied to what you have…

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Expiration Date

If you are drinking your milk with a fork, perhaps you missed the date on the side of the carton. It’s called an expiration date. Eggs, milk, most food – they all have expiration dates.  Could there be an expiration date on God’s mercy? God warned, “My people would not listen to me; Israel would…

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