It is not uncommon for a therapist to recommend a period of sexual abstinence for a couple, following the addict’s disclosure. Often, the offending spouse responds with outrage. We often hear something like this: “I have come clean and done the hard work of disclosure. Why would we enter a period of abstinence now?”
Believe it or not, the Bible actually addresses this head-on.
There was a man named Hosea, whose wife Gomer had turned to a life of prostitution. God encouraged Hosea to give his wife another chance. We read the story in Hosea 3:1-3.
Hosea said, “The Lord said to me, ‘Go and love your wife again.’”
Hosea’s response: “So I bought her back for fifteen pieces of silver and five bushels of barley and a measure of wine. Then I said to her, ‘You must live in my house for many days and stop your prostitution.’”
And then this: “During this time, you will not have sexual relations with anyone, not even with me” (Hosea 3:1-3).
If your spouse feels the need for a time of sexual separation, give it to her/him. Use this as a time to rewire the brain and embrace true intimacy.
Recovery Step: A period of sexual abstinence can be a good thing. A really good thing.