If you are married, your recovery is a team sport. You and your spouse are in this thing together. And in order to reach your goals, you will need to learn to listen to one another in a way that takes hard work. Cathy Huyghe, writing for Inc., offers three listening tips.
Tip #1 – Don’t try to fix the other person.
Huyghe suggests “compassionate listening,” where the focus is on your partner’s emotions more than her words. Be present. Don’t try to fix everything.
Tip #2 – Relate mentally more than verbally.
What the other person says will trigger your own thoughts, and you will want to express them. Wait on that. When your spouse is speaking, let them speak.
Tip #3 – Eventually get down to business.
At some point, you will need to address the issues at hand. Let that come organically. Then address your partner’s needs with gentleness and sensitivity.
Recovery Step: Learn the lesson of Solomon. “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame” (Proverbs 18:13).