A friend recently sent me this quote: “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”
That is powerful. Said another way, we can’t tie our self-perception to the perception of others. Here’s the thing – not everyone will understand your journey, and that’s fine, because it isn’t their journey to understand.
I stopped explaining myself when I realized people only understand from the level of their own perception.
We find these words in the Talmud: “We do not see things as they are; we see them as we are.”
If you are to find successful recovery, you have to listen to the voices of others – but not too much. Never be captive to the expectations of other people. Work with a therapist, coach, sponsor, recovery group, and trusted friends. But own your personal recovery.
Let me say it again – expectations are premeditated resentments.
Recovery Step: Job posed this question. “Have you comprehended the expanse of the earth? Declare, if you know all this” (Job 38:18). Job was saying that we all have limited knowledge. No one knows you completely. So don’t govern your emotions by the expectations of others. They only become premeditated resentments.